curly gja Not straight. Loopy. Prone to tangles and unconsidered knots. Difficult to answer. 110301 ... epitome of incomprehensibility Alphabets of different languages, languid linguine and ringlets of hair. Comforting curves and dizzying spirals. 150123 ... jane how quickly she went from a blessing to a curse. 150125 ... jane i had a dream we kissed and here she is sitting across from me... 160131 ... gja In the dream? Or for real 160201 ... jane real. we popped from pub to press club for "church," the sunday night dance craze for grid_kids. afterwards, i drove us to her apartment, read her "the hitchhiker" by roald_dahl. she told me she still has feelings for me. i told her of my self_loathing. we have been toiling on different sides of the same wall, the art_hotel which is to be a part of hometown history, i believe. still, as much as i am glad she is back in my life...we will never be together again. 160204 ... jane i am sorry that i love a small piece of you. a piece that is buried under layers of mania, delusion, depression, narcissism, and perpetual-victimhood...not necessarily in that order. i am sorry. it was unfair of me to tell you i love you, when the piece i love seems now to be unretrievable. i will not risk the quicksand of your (sub)conscious to attempt to plaster one thin sheet of human being-ness to a stone effigy of you. i am sorry you presented yourself as someone who had improved upon their lifestyle and emotional intelligence, and that i fell for your projected wellness...again. i am sorry. i will probably fall for it in the future. you have a grasp on me i have been able to sever many times, though it invariably returns and plants itself inside of me, like a tapeworm, eating what i eat and festering among coffee grounds and wilted spinach. growing larger and stronger until i fall for your facade yet again. again. i am sorry, a sorry person, a sadsack who was deceived once more by one whose nature is deception. inability to communicate emotions. when you attempt to it is only propaganda for your neverending victim mentality; once again i am the perpetrator and you tell me to never contact you again. i am sorry. i never will. 160222 what's it to you? who go blather from