the_sorrows_of_young_e_o_i e_o_i (I started writing this on Aug. 3 but didn't finish it.) I could put this under gotta_sleep_sleep_sleep, but I CAN sleep. I just can't sleep sleep sleep; the past three nights I've only been able to manage 3-5 hours of it. Saturday-Sunday's threeish hours came after helping David pack the rest of the things from his apartment - he is going to his mother's house for the fall, and then in January to Oxford for a year and a half. Anyway, the packing took longer than either of us expected. He lifted more heavy things but I was sweeping and wiping off counters. I blew my nose and grey grime-tinged snot came out (romantic). Then it was back to my parents' house at 3 AM. He slept in my brother's room and I in my own. When I closed my eyes around 4:30, sleep soon followed, but when I woke up at 8 I was too nervous for more. I was worried about driving all the way from Montreal to Toronto, and I wasn't even the one driving. I was afraid I'd have a panic attack, out there on the highway, with no immediate change of location possible. But then when we got going I realized I had nothing to be scared of, not then. The 401 is straightforward. We stopped twice. Music was played, and I fell asleep near the end to a rapper called Canibus. (When David switched it to Tool I grumbled internally; I like Tool, but the changing nature of the music makes it hard to doze to. But if you're driving you can choose more of the accompanying sounds; them's the imaginary rules I'll adhere to, like a sticker clinging precariously to the elbow of the Statue of Fairness.) But that night I couldn't sleep until around 6 AM. I was in David's sister's old room, the beds being too small to accommodate two people who prefer to repose in cool temperatures. But he came in around 4:30 after using the bathroom in the hall, when I made I-am-awake noises. He asked what was wrong, why I couldn't sleep. I don't know. My mind won't let me. Everything's changing, maybe that's why. (You're going away.) 210831 ... epitome of incomprehensibility I thought there was already a blathe with this title!! Anyway, it works: I was young when I wrote this. It was four weeks ago. Now I'm old. Why couldn't I sleep? Partly I was afraid of going up northwest of Nappanee that Wednesday with his mother and sister's family. Because trips to the unknown = scary. But we did and it was relaxing. David talked about his parents' old cottage and the places he'd been as a kid. I didn't panic. That night I finally slept well. 210831 ... e_o_i Aha. That was sorrows_of_young_e_o_i. No definite particle. The_red_thread of connection between the title and content? Back then I had a crush on someone unattainable, which reminded me of The Sorrows of Young Werther, only my sorrows always seemed mixed up with comedy and confusion. 210831 what's it to you? who go blather from