monster_energy tender_square theresa and i would normally not be caught dead in the boom boom room, but mstrkrft was doing a dj set we wanted to see them. she came to my apartment early for pregaming because we knew the drinks would be weak at the bar and we wanted to lay a good foundation for the night. “i have some monster energy drinks we can mix with vodka,” i suggested. (i have no idea why these were in my fridge, i never drank them. maybe i got them on sale and i was off coffee?) i can’t remember if we biked to the bar or walked the six blocks downtown, but we had a good buzz on by the time we arrived. theresa and i moved on the dance floor in a halfhearted stupor, even though we were wired. were the guys already spinning? we couldn’t be sure. we spotted dale and his wife heidi there and waved hello; it was always cool to see an older, child-free couple that were still hip to fringe events happening in the city, it gave me hope for the future. theresa and i made our way to the bar at the back of the club, the less busy one, so we could drink vodka red bulls. there was one female bartender working but she kept serving men who came to the counter even though we had been waiting for a solid five minutes before them. “are we EVER going to get any service over here?” i was annoyed and maybe a teeny bit aggro. next thing i knew, i was being dragged away from counter by my elbow. i looked up and a huge bouncer was bringing me to the front door to throw me out. as we crossed the dance floor, i thought i could get away from him and started twisting theatrically in his grip. he held firm. “what the fuck man?!” i screamed once i was out on the sidewalk. it was something like 10:30, it was still early. theresa had followed me out of the bar, even though she wasn’t the one getting kicked out. i lit a cigarette and sat on the curb to calm down and strategize my next move. we sure as hell weren’t going to miss mstrkrft. i approached the door man and explained what happened in my sweetest voice and most sober demeanor. “we were just trying to get served, and then we were thrown out for some reason. i don’t know what happened.” i played dumb. he let us back into the club. back inside, theresa and i met up with dale and heidi. “what the hell happened to you guys?” dale laughed. “i saw you getting frog marched outta here!” “it’s a long story. let’s get a drink.” theresa and i went to the busy side bar this time. she and i danced for another 45 minutes but got bored, so we left the club and decided to go to phog. once we were outside of the boom boom room, theresa started to cry. “what’s wrong?” i hugged her. “we got kicked out of the bar!” she sobbed. “yeah dude, that was like an hour ago. i got us back in,” i cackled. she was wasted. we both were. she dried her tears and we walked arm in arm like laverne and shirley over to phog. as we passed the alleyway, we spotted some guy we’d seen around the scene who was a few years older than us. “you guys smoke jazz cigarettes?” he offered. theresa and i were never one to turn down a joint. we giggled in the alleyway as he flirted with both of us, passing it around. he may have even had a mystery bottle in a paper bag we were drinking from too. the rest of the night was a complete blur. i don’t know if a band was playing at phog, or what—maybe theresa’s boyfriend had a show going on? at some point i left and either walked or biked back to my apartment alone to pass out. theresa called me the next day to say the shenanigans continued after i left. “i was so drunk that i laid down in the parking lot next to phog and yelled ‘fuck me james’ in front of all of his friends, he was so embarrassed.” my head throbbed. “did we ever even see mstrkrft last night?” i asked. neither of us knew for sure. that was the first and last time we ever messed with liquor and energy drinks. 211021 what's it to you? who go blather from