linear Q But what's subjective about a linear something? 021129 ... ( ... ) depends which line yur on, i'd say. 021129 ... Cicero lines leading East that give hope only to the foward lookers. but you're not a line. you're cyclical (always looking for a good cycle) 030209 ... epitome of incomprehensibility Linear: for when I dream about lines and worry about my ability to finish projects. When I'm involved in what's not a love triangle, but more like a series of linear like lines. When I walk home from the bus thinking, "Hm, this is pretty standard and heterosexual." That is, I like him but he likes her, and the Artist-Writer Person might like me (not quite sure). The AWP and I were at a poetry reading together this evening, and on the bus he was talking about "going out sometime" which sounded like a date, and it made me awkward and tongue-tied. He's not a bad person, and what he read tonight was vivid and based on impressions from his Mexico trip, which is a reminder for me not to be snobby and go "Visual Artist Thinks He's a Writer but HE IS NOT"... but no, I don't feel like he's a potential dating person for me. I'm too young for him and not nice enough to put up with him constantly talking about himself (not constantly, but he doesn't listen that much). Maybe I'm completely wrong, though, and I'm deluded for thinking that he might like me. Another thought was that he thinks I can support him because I have more money, and that he thinks I have money because I have a nice winter coat. (Possibility 1 is possible, Possibility 2 unlikely - especially the bit about the coat.) The first "him" is the Music Tech Etc. That will be his name now. I should go help with the soup kitchen tomorrow as I did last week - I don't have work then and my mother could use the help - but I'll see MTE. If he isn't close by, it'd be easier to ignore the attraction. He has a girlfriend, an ambitious one who rides bicycles in winter and he doesn't. That's all I know. The problem is he radiates niceness, niceness and energy and motivation. He asked me if I'd sing on something, too, and that will be a trap for my feelings. Go away, feelings. Mom said once, "Don't you think [MTE] is 'cute'? ...Well, it wouldn't work out, though. He's 8 years older than you, he's too old." Passing thought. I don't know if he's good-looking to people in general. It's weird to have a crush on someone who's so much like me: hair and skin about the same colour, body type similar (skinny, narrow limbs, but he's taller), lactose intolerant, ADHD. Higher motivation and sociability on his end, more education on mine. This much balance and likeness isn't good, is it? Because even if I can't convince myself with the perfectly logical argument, "He has a girlfriend - don't get preoccupied with him or you'll be sad," there's always my inner anti-Nazi but social-Darwinist voice that says, "You two are too alike. You should not reproduce or you will perpetuate white, sandy-brown-haired, medium-height, attention-deficit lactose intolerance." Reason #1 is fine. An already-existent significant other is enough to crush a crush not burdened by concerns of potential reproduction. I have a story about that. I will put it in a different place! 180116 ... epitome of incomprehensibility Linear: for when I dream about lines and worry about my ability to finish projects. When I'm involved in what's not a love triangle, but more like a series of linear like lines. When I walk home from the bus thinking, "Hm, this is pretty standard and heterosexual." That is, I like him but he likes her, and the Artist-Writer Person might like me (not quite sure). The AWP and I were at a poetry reading together this evening, and on the bus he was talking about "going out sometime" which sounded like a date, and it made me awkward and tongue-tied. He's not a bad person, and what he read tonight was vivid and based on impressions from his Mexico trip, which is a reminder for me not to be snobby and go "Visual Artist Thinks He's a Writer but HE IS NOT"... but no, I don't feel like he's a potential dating person for me. I'm too young for him and not nice enough to put up with him constantly talking about himself (not constantly, but he doesn't listen that much). Maybe I'm completely wrong, though, and I'm deluded for thinking that he might like me. Another thought was that he thinks I can support him because I have more money, and that he thinks I have money because I have a nice winter coat. (Possibility 1 is possible, Possibility 2 unlikely - especially the bit about the coat.) The first "him" is the Music Tech Etc. That will be his name now. I should go help with the soup kitchen tomorrow as I did last week - I don't have work then and my mother could use the help - but I'll see MTE. If he isn't close by, it'd be easier to ignore the attraction. He has a girlfriend, an ambitious one who rides bicycles in winter and he doesn't. That's all I know. The problem is he radiates niceness, niceness and energy and motivation. He asked me if I'd sing on something, too, and that will be a trap for my feelings. Go away, feelings. Mom said once, "Don't you think [MTE] is 'cute'? ...Well, it wouldn't work out, though. He's 8 years older than you, he's too old." Passing thought. I don't know if he's good-looking to people in general. It's weird to have a crush on someone who's so much like me: hair and skin about the same colour, body type similar (skinny, narrow limbs, but he's taller), lactose intolerant, ADHD. Higher motivation and sociability on his end, more education on mine. This much balance and likeness isn't good, is it? Because even if I can't convince myself with the perfectly logical argument, "He has a girlfriend - don't get preoccupied with him or you'll be sad," there's always my inner anti-Nazi but social-Darwinist voice that says, "You two are too alike. You should not reproduce or you will perpetuate white, sandy-brown-haired, medium-height, attention-deficit lactose intolerance." Reason #1 is fine. An already-existent significant other is enough to crush a crush not burdened by concerns of potential reproduction. I have a story about that. I will put it in a different place! 180116 ... e_o_i NO WHY IS THIS POSTING TWICE. What did I do in the world? 180116 ... e_o_i I am less crushed, but I can friendship. His emails are not linear. They go from one thing to another without clear breaks. I'm like that sometimes, but usually I give more space for transitions. Mind you, I could easily fall in love with people I find confusing, but there's no need to chase after mirages that turn into garages which are out of my wheelhouse. (I am the EPITOME of linear.) 180201 what's it to you? who go blather from