jordan cr0wl she stretched herself out all the way on the picnic table as i worked on her report card. her face inches from my hands. i had exhausted her in both ski lessons but still she wanted to spend every moment in my presence, just as she did in the morning, following me around like a baby goose who calls mother the first thing that moves. 100204 ... unhinged prodigal_emotions_ there was a freshman violinist in orchestra when i was in grad_school named jordan who was like my orchestra brother away from my brother. i harassed the shit out of him and threw back all my snide comments about the jerks that sat in the front of the section his way. he was the inspiration for naming the lead character in prodigal_emotions , a fictionalized version of my actual brother. i saw him for the first time in years at the fresh_cut_collective show this past saturday. he smiled and waved across the bar. he was with a chick, presumably his girlfriend, so i just stayed put and smiled and waved back. 100204 ... raze i think we each saw something of ourselves in the other. looking at him was like staring at my own reflection in a cracked mirror. we were never close. but we were allies. he did the greatest thing for me once. the guidance department was trying to force me to take a grade eleven math class when i didn't need the credit. i'd already failed the first time around. i knew i would fail again. i had an exciting semester lined up thanks to a sympathetic counselor named mrs. rau. creative writing. fashion. drama. when she retired, the faculty hacked up my course load, chucked all the classes i was looking forward to in the trash, and did their best to bully me into walking face-first into a brick wall. they didn't care about my interests or academic strengths. i was little more than a statistic to them. i started cutting class for the first time in my life. just to get away from that mean_spirited mess of math. one afternoon the vice principal called me into his office. he yelled at me and gave me an admit slip. he told me i better get my ass to class. i ran into jordan on the way back to my locker. he asked me why i looked so dejected. i told him. "let me see that admit slip for a second," he said. i handed it over. he made a fist around the piece of paper, stuck it in his mouth, and chewed it a little to soften it up. then he swallowed it. he smiled and said, "you can't go to class now. you lost your admit slip." 250321 what's it to you? who go blather from