don't_ask_that_of_me lostgirl really. i could say, 'fuck you for even considering it!' but i won't....i will just say you don't know me now. and that you have no idea what i have become. you broke my heart back then into ten thousand pieces and you failed to pick them up. you didn't and still do not even have the wherewithal to fix it...and right, now you think you can step into my life?! i think not. you don't belong here. 100804 ... lostgirl really. i could say, 'fuck you for even considering it!' but i won't....i will just say you don't know me now. and that you have no idea what i have become. you broke my heart back then into ten thousand pieces and you failed to pick them up. you didn't and still do not even have the wherewithal to fix it...and right, now you think you can step into my life?! i think not. you don't belong here. 100804 ... not sure why that double posted other than that it needed to be reiterated significantly, as in a double no friggin' way.... 100804 ... unhinged heart_pang on blue (but they do. ask it of us. and we come here to say no, at least i can't activate that in the real_life face_to_face with the people that keep sucking all they can out of me. crumbling me into little pieces and not caring enough to pick them back up....i totally know what that one feels like. and yet i still can't say no) 100805 ... lostgirl whew.... (part of me felt as though i should apologize to red for venting like that...so thank you, unhinged, for letting me off the hook.) i can't say no when someone needs help, but my rational mind knew that nothing but toxicity could come of this. so instead, i listened to his message and i hit the delete button, and i started writing what i wish i had the guts to say. (it did feel good.) 100805 ... unhinged (there is no hook; blather is definitely where i vent. especially since i have a hard time telling people how i feel) oh my goodness, blather_syncronicity (damn typos ) strikes again. i have a really serious situation in my life right now because i've been helping someone for eight months and feel completely drained. i flipped out on him the other night and we've been fighting for almost a week. i shouldn't answer the phone. i even turned my phone off for awhile last night. i can admit when i've done wrong. i apologized for being a dick, but what i had to say stung so he's not willing to accept my apology or comprehend how i might feel that way in the first place. he is angry and he's scary when he's angry. i'm scared. i don't want to be at home. he showed up at the bar i was hanging out with my friends at the other night; i don't want to go out. i have a nervous twitch again. i am almost constantly in tears. i am really tweaked. and now he wants to act like it's all me; like i am the one and only one that made things what they are right now. i am scared. 100806 ... lostgirl as long as you have been honest with yourself and with him, you have done the right thing. he will come to realize the error of his ways, or he won't, but making you afraid in the meantime is just wrong. its a power_trip... please be careful and take care of yourself.... (i'll be thinking of you.) 100806 what's it to you? who go blather from