desensitized unhinged everything used to pain me. the crazy people walking down the street; the raw pain of his music, the unhappy weight he carried around under his black beanie. i've seen too much of it here. i can't care anymore. i've seen too many deaths in this damn place. i used to think tearing my flesh had some kind of slowing effect on the whole thing but there is nothing that slows the accelerating end of a desperate life. he says that he is going to die at 28 because that's when all the geniuses died. so much of him is only alive in secret. i live the same way. i am a drug addict for the same reasons but i grew up with a family that loves me so i never felt the need to start snorting coke. but you know, i smoke cause my parents smoked. he snorts coke because his mom was a crackwhore. same difference. 010906 ... guitar_freak it happens. usually to the best of us 011125 ... birdmad the inversion more attuned to the sensations with each occurrence like chinese water torture mere suggestion sometimes the impetus for madness or despair or rapture 011126 ... spoons my world 011126 ... spoons the feelings lost alls gone couldve been but not...fuck it 011126 ... misstree cant even summon a good blather wow, that really would have... once.... i remember when i used to give a shit. i remember when everything was so loud and bright and new, and i drank deep of EVERYTHING... but i'm full now, full and apathetic, jaded and bored and spiraling into a tortorous grey. 011127 ... splinken "I turned into a martian, whoa oh oh" 030305 ... jinx It's another form of protection. 030306 ... blown cherry you said it jinx 030306 ... Maynard to everything. What became of subtlety? 030331 ... ill keep digging... How can this mean anything to me, if i can't feel anything at all 030331 ... 0of46 has anyone else noticed that america always seems to need to have a war on something war on drugs war on terrorism some other country's war war this war that war on iraq we're war mongers..... we're desensitized 030401 ... unhinged . just stop i need to rest 141007 what's it to you? who go blather from