chemical_happiness amy in red When you can't get it any other way that's a bad society, a shitty economy. I wouldn't blame yourself. I wouldn't drink to achieve it either. I'd try all the hard paths with rewards along the way and at journey's_end, but if i was really failing and something bad happened, like i was too depressed to drive to work (i live in suburbs) and/or have good friends that are good to have, then i'd turn to pills, but the trouble is, then, you waste your life trying to find the right pills, but you were wasting your life anyway, so. Then there's the layered up situation where you've been treated wrongly for 15 years and are in need of a vast correction. Who do you sue? Nobody. That's mental health for you. Don't go there, if you don't have to. Psychiatrists are a mess. There are many ways to correct yourself, all kind of "remedial" to life itself, unless you are a rich, weekend conference eccentric just fitting it in. But if something is way off, chemical_happiness is your ticket, welcome_to_the_disjointed_disconnect. Kind of like the HD/LED/4D TV circuit if you ask me. But maybe i was truly too low functioning. Feeling great today but these are up times, three weeks from now it will be the dungeon, again. Whatever ambition i have now will be forgotten. 160912 ... amy in red That's what I really think, and I think it's reasonable in my experience. But, about bipolar_vs_schiz: i don't watch a lot of horror movies because obviously they are counterproductive to my sense of well being. But then I have to remind myself, that other people do, and that they color the perceptions and even influence their opinion of me even though it's all fiction and Hollywood bucks. So I just watched one, a psychological thriller (literally) by a very famous director with famous stars. There was a deluded PTSD patient and also a bipolar character whom they went in depth into their psyches - their degree of delusion and unchecked evil impulse, respectively. I found it to be a gutsy movie from a mental health perspective, both the psychiatrist angle and patient angle. But, gotta tell you, I never get that deluded or that evil, nowhere close. Although, I do get trapped in my imagination. I'm glad I watched the movie because it does give me something to think about. I just worry what damage Hollywood wreaks on my social prospects in life in general. It might actually require me to lie and keep secrets in life, far more than necessary, and that goes against my character. How to resolve? I suppose just let me speak for myself? I'm lucky to have internet outlets. But then again, others would rather keep the topic contained by storytellers. Chances are greater than 50% of people reading this don't want to be reading this (i'm guessing)... But it is not the discomforteds' dilemma. It's the dilemma of someone who has to live with it, navigate it, survive it. So, anyway, Good movie, but only a movie. Shutter Island (2010). 160912 what's it to you? who go blather from