gutsy tender_square "that's your husband," grandma said emphatically, almost as though she was chiding me. "well, not for much longer," i said. i'm not sure how much she remembers. "the paperwork is in with the court, we have to wait 90 days. the divorce will likely be processed in may." i reflected on the date. "may, like the same month we were married in...that's kind of a shame." "you're gutsy, you know?" "i am?" i leaned toward her chair and placed a hand on her knee. "what makes you say that?" "my husband and i..." she still wears her wedding ring, some fifty years after her as a widow with four kids. "sometimes i think that if he wouldn't have died, we might not have stayed together." "it's hard when there's kids involved. i think it makes it easier to go when you don't have to deal with that." "i think about him and what it would be like if he was around now and it makes me feel funny." she told me she's been thinking about death and how it scares her because we can't know what it feels like. "funny how?" i pressed. "like, you think it would be nice to be with each other for a while, but then you think it wouldn't all be like that?" grandma focused her eyes on me. "yeah," she said. 230217 what's it to you? who go blather from