blabble mon blabble blabble 040309 ... mon blabble blabble blabble 040309 ... mon blabble blabble blabble blabble 040309 ... DammitJanet my small words looked lost amoungst the deep blue sea. it's been coloured accordingly, knowingly, intentionally. i had forgotten about them, and rightly so, they were insignificant, shoving in my words where they didn't belong in hopes they'd stand. But instead, they blended, shifted back, then were lost in the constant traffic. it's like a long crowded highway, everyone cutting in, honking, trying to be noticed and move ahead. reminders of a time forgotten. words have a way of peeking interest, climbing into your head and sticking in place. they can bring you places you've never been, where you've already gone, and inspire you to where you're going. but it's only when you're not looking when the important ones come. breaking through into your mind begging to be freed. and you have no choice but to let go and you voice them in anyway you can. words can be art. art can be words. but only in 2 dimensions. 040309 ... ugh the second bleeble 040410 ... guitar_freak I went to Broad St. expecting lonliness It was a party for groups that went on alternative spring break. My group wasn't invited because my leaders suck ass. I went anyway with a friend from the Philly trip. I felt like drinking so bad just to blend in a little, but I couldn't. To supress my own urge I got my friend to drink what I would have drank. I made her drinks, I cheered her on, and what do you know- she got wasted. Now the Philly people were fun. I knew two of them and it didn't take long before they all made me an honorary member. After everyone was drunk we decided to go to the big party. It wasn't long before I was dancing on the platform. I noticed a table that had bottles upon bottle of body paint on it. I grabbed all the Philly people and we ran over there tripping over people and knocking over drinks. We got to the paint and had a war. Before long I was convered in paint. We all looked ridiculously wasted. Everyone else was. They all started to grind on each other and makeout with each other- they are a sexually charged lot. Since I was an honorary member trhey expected me to reciprocate this behaviour, but I couldn't... Maybe it was the fact that I have Anthony or maybe it was because I wasn't drunk or maybe because I didn't even know all their names yet- I don't know. I just felt uncomfortable. The party ended and we went to a room full of bean bags. Everyone sorta collapsed on each other and we were all tangled in a heap of bodies staring at the reflective glass above us. Some guy was trying to come on to me and he grabbed my breast so I said I had to go. It wasn't in Philly spirit of me to not join in their orgy but I just couldn't do it. I left and walked home. Everyone who saw me thought I was wasted because I was covered in the glittery paint. I sat in the lounge of my building and flipped through the channels until one of the Kerry boys walked through and drug me to the BCC party. It was pretty sketchy so I hung out on the porch and started talking to this guy who just studied abroad in India last semester. He was really nice and I enjoyed talking to him about classes and profs. Shortly thereafter I felt frozen and went home again. I stripped down grabbed my robe and headed to the shower to get the paint off, but ran into my friend who I left bag in the bean bag room. She was still super drunk and kept saying that there was a boy in her roommates bed. Her roomie came out and took a picture and I headed to the shower and went to bed. Although I felt uncomfortable I had a great night. I like feeling awkward and uncomfortable because it stretches the limits. Situations make you more outgoing. You just don't feel as awkward the next time. Maybe eventually nothing will feel strange to me... 040411 what's it to you? who go blather from