avoidant
nr
when
things_in_my_head
become
harder
and
harder
to
access,
it
becomes
harder
and
harder
to
pinpoint
what
matters
220522
...
nr
"
how
are
you
feeling
right
now
?"
"
i
don't
know
...
i
feel
kind
of
overwhelmed
and
swamped.
i've
had
so
much
to
do
lately
."
"
but
what
emotions
do
you
feel
?
can
you
name
them
?"
"...."
some
good_questions
are
just
too_much
.
220522
...
tender_square
i
’m
realizing
i
go
to
great
lengths
to
avoid
conflicts
with
my
spouse
because
i
don’t
have
the
energy
to
fight
.
220523
...
past
i
do
this
, generally.
once
conflict
gets
in
me
it
takes
an
asymmetrical
time
to
get
out
.
in
like
a
flood
,
out
as
a
drip
.
220523
...
epitome of incomprehensibility
I
stayed
away
from
my
inbox
today
because
it
reminded
me
of
things
to
do
that
I
didn't
feel
up
to
,
if
I
was
going
to
concentrate
on
planting
things
.
I
was
out
walking
the
dog
when
my
boss
called
me
:
I
was
late
for
an
online
class
.
With
a
new
student.
I'd
completely
forgotten
it
was
today
.
And
that
was
embarrassing
,
but
it
didn't
devastate
me
.
I'm
usually
good
with
that
kind
of
scheduled
thing
,
and
we
could
extend
the
class
longer
.
220524
...
nr
maybe
some
inclinations
to
avoid
are
healthy
and
necessary.
some
people
deserve
to
be
pushed
away
.
220911
...
nr
it's
hard
not
to
be
when
your
fears
keep
being
realized
.
221227
...
past
it's
hard
not
to
be
when
i
don't
even
realize
i'm
(
apparently
) avoiding confronting
things
.
221228
...
tender_square
yesterday
,
all
these
webs
of
interconnected
conflict
:
mom
with
dad
("
he
can't
remember
anything
!");
dad
with
mom
("
quit
bossing
me
around
!"); brea
with
me
("
why
are
you
hanging
out
with
your
friends
more
than
me
?");
grandma
with
brea ("
what
does
she
want
from
me
now
?");
grandma
with
mom
("
you
don't
know
what
you're
doing
with
my
hair
!");
mom
with
grandma
("
you
didn't
even
try
on
the
pajamas
i
bought
you
!");
mom
with
brea ("
stop
about
the
grandma's
glasses
,
i
get
enough
of
that
from
rena!"); brea
with
mom
("
i
don't
know
what's
going
on
between
you
and
your
sister
,
stop
taking
it
out
on
me
!")
is
it
any
wonder
why
the
peacemaker
in
me
would
rather
just
avoid
it
all
?
the
realization
hit
me
yesterday
:
i
am
no
longer
visiting
my
family
;
i
don't
have
the
quick
escape
hatch
of
running
back
across
the
border.
i'm
here
.
i'm
living
it
.
221229
what's it to you?
who
go
blather
from
