ajar
raze
small
as
you
are
to
me
,
i
must
be
monstrous
to
you
.
i
could
crush
you
with
the
tip
of
one
finger
.
not
that
i
want
to
.
a
white
band
runs
through
the
black
of
your
back
.
you
have
six
crimped
twist_ties
for
legs
.
your
head
is
a
bronzed
piece
of
candy
corn
.
the
probes
that
pass
for
your
ears
twitch
with
every
movement
you
make
or
imagine
making
.
i
don't
know
what
you
are
.
some
kind
of
skinny
moth
i've
never
seen
before
.
you
scale
the
left
side
of
the
cased
opening
that
leads
to
the
room
i
was
supposed
to
die
in
the
year
i
turned
twenty
-five.
i
admire
the
gold
ridges
of
your
abdomen
as
you
ascend
.
you
haven't
touched
the
top
of
the
frame
when
i
silence
the
exposed
bulb
that
hangs
in
the
hallway
.
after
you
lose
the
light
you
were
sure
was
yours
,
you
follow
me
to
find
what's
left
of
it
in
my
bedroom
.
that's
what
i
tell
myself
.
but
what
i
thought
was
a
stripe
is
the
dividing
line
between
your
wings
.
you
fly
from
ceiling
to
wall
and
back
again
, glowing
brilliant
green
,
and
it
all
comes
clear
.
you
aren't
chasing
anything
.
and
you're
not
a
moth
.
you're
the
antidote
to
darkness
.
a
firefly
.
three
times
you
brush
up
against
the
thin
mesh
left
behind
by
a
spider
that
did
its
work
when
i
wasn't
looking
.
the
fourth
time
your
luck
runs
out
.
you're
ensnared.
i
carry
the
long
tendril
of
silk
to
my
bed
and
pull
it
apart
to
set
you
free
.
i
wait
for
you
to
take
flight
.
you
don't
.
you
only
move
when
i
try
to
touch
you
.
your
antennae
dance
across
the
rim
of
my
upturned
palm
.
you
won't
accept
the
refuge
of
my
skin
.
you
fan
out
your
wings
but
refuse
to
make
use
of
them
.
for
more
than
an
hour
you're
all
i
can
see
.
i
know
i
can't
keep
you
.
you
need
damp
air
to
survive
.
you
won't
find
it
here
.
if
you
aren't willing
to
leave
the
cool
white
web
of
my
comforter,
the
weight
of
my
sleeping
body
will
macerate
you
before
the
lack
of
moisture robs
you
of
what
breath
you
have
left
.
i
don't
want
to
let
this
moment
slip
away
.
but
you
were
made
to
mate
and
burn
through
the
dark
cloth
that
blankets
the
brevity
of
your
life
.
i
can't
take
that
away
from
you
.
my
father
says
it
doesn't
matter
if
you
die
.
he
doesn't
understand
.
you're
everything
in
this
world
that's
worth
fighting
for
.
i
stare
at
your
face
so
i
won't
forget
it
.
you
show
me
your
shimmer
one
last
time
before
i
coax
you
into
a
tiny
tupperware
container
.
it's
the
same
colour
as
the
magic
you
weave.
i
leave
the
lid ajar
and
carry
you
into
the
back
yard
.
you
do
all
you
can
to
escape
until
i
give
you
back
to
the
night
that
brought
you
to
me
.
then
you
change
your
mind
.
you
won't
crawl
out
of
the
plastic
canister
that
holds
you
.
maybe
you
don't
want
to
go
.
maybe
there's
a
reason
you're
here
.
i
just
want
you
to
live
as
long
as
you
can
.
i
shake
you
onto
the
grass
.
as
gentle
as
my
fear
will
let
me
be
.
i
close
the
door
and
leave
your
light
behind
me
.
i'll
never
know
if
i've
saved
you
or
killed
you
.
220708
what's it to you?
who
go
blather
from
