ajar
raze
small
as
you
are
to
me
,
i
must
be
monstrous
to
you
.
i
could
crush
you
with
the
tip
of
one
finger
.
not
that
i
want
to
.
a
white
band
runs
through
the
black
of
your
back
.
you
have
six
crimped
twist_ties
for
legs
.
your
head
is
a
bronzed
piece
of
candy
corn
.
the
probes
that
pass
for
your
ears
twitch
with
every
movement
you
make
or
imagine
making
.
i
don't
know
what
you
are
.
some
kind
of
skinny
moth
i've
never
seen
before
.
you
scale
the
left
side
of
the
cased
opening
that
leads
to
the
room
i
was
supposed
to
die
in
the
year
i
turned
twenty
-five.
i
admire
the
gold
ridges
of
your
abdomen
as
you
ascend
.
you
haven't
touched
the
top
of
the
frame
when
i
silence
the
exposed
bulb
that
hangs
in
the
hallway
.
after
you
lose
the
light
you
were
sure
was
yours
,
you
follow
me
to
find
what's
left
of
it
in
my
bedroom
.
that's
what
i
tell
myself
.
but
what
i
thought
was
a
stripe
is
the
dividing
line
between
your
wings
.
you
fly
from
ceiling
to
wall
and
back
again
, glowing
brilliant
green
,
and
it
all
comes
clear
.
you
aren't
chasing
anything
.
and
you're
not
a
moth
.
you're
the
antidote
to
darkness
.
a
firefly
.
three
times
you
brush
up
against
the
thin
mesh
left
behind
by
a
spider
that
did
its
work
when
i
wasn't
looking
.
the
fourth
time
your
luck
runs
out
.
you're
ensnared.
i
carry
the
long
tendril
of
silk
to
my
bed
and
pull
it
apart
to
set
you
free
.
i
wait
for
you
to
take
flight
.
you
don't
.
you
only
move
when
i
try
to
touch
you
.
your
antennae
dance
across
the
rim
of
my
upturned
palm
.
you
won't
accept
the
refuge
of
my
skin
.
you
fan
out
your
wings
but
refuse
to
make
use
of
them
.
for
more
than
an
hour
you're
all
i
can
see
.
i
know
i
can't
keep
you
.
you
need
damp
air
to
survive
.
you
won't
find
it
here
.
if
you
aren't willing
to
leave
the
cool
white
web
of
my
comforter
,
the
weight
of
my
sleeping
body
will
macerate
you
before
the
lack
of
moisture robs
you
of
what
breath
you
have
left
.
i
don't
want
to
let
this
moment
slip
away
.
but
you
were
made
to
mate
and
burn
through
the
dark
cloth
that
blankets
the
brevity
of
your
life
.
i
can't
take
that
away
from
you
.
my
father
says
it
doesn't
matter
if
you
die
.
he
doesn't
understand
.
you're
everything
in
this
world
that's
worth
fighting
for
.
i
stare
at
your
face
so
i
won't
forget
it
.
you
show
me
your
shimmer
one
last
time
before
i
coax
you
into
a
tiny
tupperware
container
.
it's
the
same
colour
as
the
magic
you
weave.
i
leave
the
lid ajar
and
carry
you
into
the
back
yard
.
you
do
all
you
can
to
escape
until
i
give
you
back
to
the
night
that
brought
you
to
me
.
then
you
change
your
mind
.
you
won't
crawl
out
of
the
plastic
canister
that
holds
you
.
maybe
you
don't
want
to
go
.
maybe
there's
a
reason
you're
here
.
i
just
want
you
to
live
as
long
as
you
can
.
i
shake
you
onto
the
grass
.
as
gentle
as
my
fear
will
let
me
be
.
i
close
the
door
and
leave
your
light
behind
me
.
i'll
never
know
if
i've
saved
you
or
killed
you
.
220708
what's it to you?
who
go
blather
from
