every_time
auburn
I
get
sick
,
I
google
my
symptoms
.
I
look
for
the
worst
possible
illnesses
to
see
if
my
symptoms
correspond.
It's
not
because
I
want
to
die
,
it's
because
I'm
afraid
to
die
.
And
I
live
with
this
fear
that
death
desires
me
as
soon
as
possible
,
and
will
not
wait
.
Right
now
I've
got
the
symptoms
for
meningitis.
071211
...
no reason
i
know
someone
who
had
meningitis,
and
just
for
the
record
,
she
couldn't
even
get
up
/think/etc.
definitely
wouldn't
have
been
able
to
type
.
if
you
think
you
might
have
it
,
go
see
a
doctor
right
away
.
071212
...
auburn
I'm
quite
certain
I
don't
have
it
.
But
thank
you
.
071212
what's it to you?
who
go
blather
from