blamethesky and all i wanted you to do was sit with me throught it.
you weren't interested.
silentbobfuckyou welcome to my weekend 010719
chanaka welcome to my july 010720
spoons pointe 011103
silentbob words dont do justice to pain 011104
Photophobe_burning One word sums up so many different ways to feel like shit. Such a huge range of feelings emaotions happenings sensations ways of life.

All in a word.
unhinged opiates 020401
wisdom torch and glory... all rolled into one. 020526
Cicero This is the most horrible pain I have ever felt. 030310
belly fire your pain is what has been separating us
which is ironic since it was what brought us together in the first place
I want you to be well
but then there's always the fear that you'll realize you just don't need me afterall
if that should happen - well, I don't want to think about it
I want you to be well
I feel that there could be a connection in wellness too; there is so much I want to do with you
tilt excruciating. what a word. 050214
once again I would prefer the beating, that blessed pounding pain... I would cherish each bruise and bite mark, each etched in line... I can stand and endure... I'm ok in the end... as long as you won't run off with my heart. 050215
tilt crushing, pentrating, devouring consuming pain 050215
tilt gone! 050226
anomalous hip 050424
two tends to creep up
wrap its filthy fingers tightly
around my joy
and devour it
mouthful by mouthful
crumbs dropping everywhere
jetstream lover both physical and mental...

why the FUCK have i done it again?
fucking lack of self control.

and now i'm so embarrassed, there is someone thinking there's more than just casual kissing going on.

i am so upset today, it's unreal.
megan do you even know

i wish i could take it all back
in one big gulp
i wish i could be new for you
i wish i could be blameless
i wish i could explain to you why
and how i regret
the regret will kill me if i keep it
but i can't seem to drop it
can't seem to give it up
and i just wish it hadn't happened

but it did

and i'm sorry
lotuseater animals crave pain.
they love it.
it is extreme sensation, pleasure absolute.

there is no claw, there is no tooth, there is no pain.
Vulgar Knuckles split and bleeding.
Fingers and wrists bruised and red.
Hands and arms trembling.
Sweating dripping from the tips of clumps of hair.
Blood running down legs and arms from torn knees and elbows.
What pain you give and release sweet punching bag.
Vulgar "I know the night is not the same as the day: that all things are different, that the things of the night cannot be explained in the day, because they do not then exist, and the night can be a dreadful time for lonely people once their loneliness has started."

-Ernest Hemingway
meep why do we bother if it is so hard and the rewards are so scant it is as if we settle for this because we lack the courage to discover what comes next 060609
exquisiteparadox pain produces the second best of my poetry

second only to euphoria

but I find that the two are inscrutably connected

one followed closely by the other

unhinged is pleasure for me 081022
what's it to you?
who go