she_tried_to_remember nonexistant girl he sat on the couch beside her while she showed him the words she had written and he looked at her and he said "you amaze me" and she asked him "i do? how so?" "just, you know, how comfortable you are around guys when you're drinking,...you're...you're just so much more...mature...than i thought" (and with this she became even more confused "huh? "you know, at the party..." (and she thought "yeah, what about it?" (and she was trying to remember she was trying to reconstruct the evening there were the leftover bruises , the red handprint on her thigh there was the remembering of snippets there was the getting dressed, the going out the getting on the bus, the buying of liquor, the meeting with friends, the drinking together, the singing on granville, the japanese waitress there was the washroom mirror, the smell of cigarettes the lights of capitol six, the waiting at the bus stop the seeing of a friend, the arrival of the right bus the wishing of farewell, the saying of happy nineteen95 there was the story on the bus, the drinks on the bus, the getting off on cambie, the getting into a taxi the drinking in the taxi, the getting out early there was the falling on the street, the bruising of the body the getting on the bus, the getting off again there was the street that seemed familiar, the garage that was stopped to pee in there was the passing by a park, the arrival at a door the beers in the fridge, the cds in the player the people in the living room, the pot in the oven drying there were the feet upon the rail, the hands that helped her down the girls in the kitchen, the kind advice from strangers the going to lie down, the finding of goings ons there was the closing of doors, and the opening again there were the beers in the fridge, the curtain of the shower the blood in the sink, the blood in the toilet the coversation of drums, the rolling of laughter there was the throwing up in the bathroom, the throwing up on the stairs there was the puke on the floor, the disgust of the onlookers there was the going to lie down, the finding of a bed there was the looking across the room as the pillow met her head there was the seeing of a man shooting up something, his face as it was floating above her there were his hands on her, there was the leaving of her body there was the opening of her eyes, the rustle of his clothes the relief of him leaving, the sway of the door beads there was the falling asleep, the being shook awake there was the time to go now, there were the morning birds the being picked up by a friend's mother, the falling asleep again there were the bruises on her hip, the welt on her thigh there was the remembering and forgetting there was the confusion of not knowing) and she asked him but he wouldn't tell her he said she knew everything she just had to remember) he told her "you should come to the next party" 041112 ... crOwl amazing careful realism. 041112 ... ... . 130107 what's it to you? who go blather from