little_known_facts_about_roosh_v epitome of incomprehensibility So this is new. And very, very loosely based on reality. Enjoy. ... Fact 1: Roosh V Was the First Antarctic-Born Hetalia Fan Roosh V, born Droosh Vroomlicker, was born and raised in Antarctica to scientist parents, Argo Vroomlicker and Electra Katalyst. A turbulent childhood led to his subsequent removal to California, U.S.A., where he gained a bicycle paper route at age 14 by pushing the real delivery boy off of his bike. At 21, he graduated from the Michigan Institute of Technology with a degree in Social Engineering and subsequently embarked upon a trip to Europe, where he discovered his true calling: Hetalia fanfiction. The Hetalia universe is a manga and anime series created by the Japanese-Canadian duo Mariko Tamaki and Sachiko Murakami. “Hetalia” is a portmanteau of “Heterosexual Italy” and chronicles Italy’s many amorous adventures and misadventures with other personified nations. Droosh, now styling himself “Roosh V”, wrote a series of erotic novellas set in the world of Hetalia, including “Bang Iceland” and “Don’t Bang Denmark.” These soon gained a cult following and brought him a steady stream of revenue, enabling him to launch a website, “Hobbit Snow Orgies.” Despite the misleading title, it too became popular, and had the privilege of inviting a number of guest writers to contribute articles. Those luminaries included Steve Bannon and Frodo bin Laden (no relation). Fact 2: Roosh V Coined the Term “Melt-o-sexual” A key concept in Roosh V’s “Catalogue of Nordic Desire” (as he styled his Scandinavian series) is the inherent eroticism of snow. He writes poignantly of “that moment when snow loses its trenchant solidity and slides irresistibly into liquid voluptuousness” (p. vi, “Bang Iceland”). According to Roosh, the “Primal Melting Scene” is an essential element of love between northern countries. In this introduction, the term “melt-o-sexual” is first introduced – a term that has been taken up by Hetalia fans and ICY fetishists worldwide. From his early writing days, however, he faced various criticisms, among them the charge of racism. In “Don’t Bang Denmark,” he clarified his stance, explaining, “Despite my Persian-Armenian heritage, I was raised in a world of frozen desert and eternal winter. It is the thrill of cold, of the moment when cold dissolves into heat, that draws me to my polar opposite: the North. I do not condone racism or colorism. The only ‘White Pride’ I swear by is the snowy pillar of the unabashed melt-o-sexual” (p. xx). Despite these protestations, in 2015 his planned “Bang Sweden” novella was scrapped after protests arising from the fact that his blog banned depictions of sex between “non-snowy nations”. Fact 3: Jesus Found Roosh V in a Pile of Snow The writer’s lowest point was in the winter of 2019, before the little-known company Zoom rocketed to fame after engineering the novel coronavirus. The two events are not related (yet). In any case, Roosh V was at a personal low point. His “New Meltulinity” tour was reviled after accusations of sexual harassment surfaced against him; a key witness was Defendant 4, known only as “Susie,” who alleged that Roosh repeatedly threw snowballs at her. In the meantime, his article arguing that “human/nation sexual relations should be legal on private property” garnered outrage from the League of International Workers, who argued that countries are human constructs and therefore cannot consent. In despair, Roosh overdosed on fluorescent Slushies and fell face-down in a pile of snow, upon which Jesus came to him in a vision and said, “Get up and taste the rainbow.” Jesus was sued for plagiarism, but Roosh V saw the warmth and became a convert to the Armenian Apostolic Church, which teaches abstinence from snow every day except Sunday. Roosh is now working on a memoir, tentatively titled “From Frozenness to Grace: The Journey of a Hetalia Snow Sex Addict.” 210821 ... kerry oh lordy i love this (sorry to interrupt, please continue) 210821 ... e_o_i Thanks! That's all I've got for Roosh V, though. It'd be fun to do other Little Known Facts (no hyphen, that's part of the mystique). 210821 ... raze i'm always amazed by your wit and inventiveness. i've read this a handful of times already, and it feels like i still haven't absorbed all the brilliance. please never stop being you and writing the great things you write. (i think i might have just inadvertently asked you to live forever. no pressure, though. i will now sing a solemn song for poor unbangable denmark.) 210822 ... nr this is super inventive. though l admittedly even just reading his name makes my blood boil, so i’m glad this is all you have for him but highly endorse writing more facts for others! 210822 ... extra l please remove me! 210822 ... e_o_i Apparently he was also interviewed in 2011 (quoting from a_file_named_surreal_sketches): The first interviewee identified as meltosexual. Anything that melted, he said, had an innate appeal for him. He had just presented a research paper entitled “The Eroticism of Snow” at a conference in Tokyo the previous week. I asked him, “Does this attraction include metaphorical melting? I mean, if someone has an emotional meltdown, is that still sexy?” He looked at me for a second. His eyebrows curled up and then down. “Well, yes, if it happens in the snow.” 210910 what's it to you? who go blather from