i_searched_my_notes_for_the_word_sure
releaseofwarmth (and became overwhelmed. but I do feel like I have to build/fix/tear through this. after all, I did find what I was looking for. I wanted to be sure.) 250617
...
warmthofrelease anonymous treasures
unanimous pleasures
let's see how deep this life bleeds

(May 2021)


many winners will tell you
it's not how you finish it's how you start
many losers will tell you
it's not worth winning to be so cutthroat

if there was a difference
between icarus and jacob
it sure wasn't the conclusion
it was what they invested
in time and attention

it was the mindset
of how they took their first steps

(February 2015)


But love?

digression at best
comfort at worst
you can use it to settle a score
that's about it
probably cost you
more time that it'll save you
assuming you have something better to do
unreliable as hell
as soon as you feel it's secure
that's when you know for sure
it's dying

(April 2015)


for a "non materialistic girl"
she sure is high maintenance
I wear her like shame
she wears on me like patience

(September 2022)


and I won't lie to you
if you don't force me to measure out the truth

(June 2016)


(she) says
baby I'm desperate (trying)
oh shut up (darling) we're all
desperate (trying) except the ones
who know for sure (can't for fear)
they're not to blame
for (bad) breaks and mishaps
scars and make(up) stains and (con)tact
as they play out (the rest of) a life
that they (can't) change

(wait)

(April 2015)


have you floated upon such still waters
for so long and so steadily
that now you await your own capsize eagerly

for even ruin is a kind of ascension
stasis is the only true decline
the stillness called peace is the rotting of humankind

but there must be that peace
that stillness
that death
it must exist within shades of life
and I would imagine the treasures and movements
within death must also surely coincide

(September 2016)


I do not derive
shame from shame
pain from pain
pleasure from pleasure
hope from hope
put me to sleep
put me to sleep

(April 2015)


yeah well where did all my friends go

was I
sure worth having at the time
but not worth carrying
were you

if you really are with me
understand I want your grief
not your guilt
and I would die for any excuse

(February 2015) 		250617
...
warmthofrelease (denouement, unserious)

"Parasites Can't Answer the Phone. And I'm Sure Your Dad Can't Either."

(October 2023) 		250617
what's it to you?
who go 		blather
from