dream_intertextuality epitome of incomprehensibility If there's fire on the neighbour's lawn, I can put it out by blowing on it. But if my place is on fire, it's doomed - although I think it's a good idea to go inside multiple times to grab my journals and laptop. Just before I'm out the door, I freeze... Freezing while a building was on fire was in another nightmare from my childhood. The most vivid and scariest one. I'm not sure I appreciate this. (Oh - for people who don't know where I live - I'm far, far away from the California wildfires. Though images of that probably sparked the dream, soda speak.) 191029 ... epitome of incomprehensibility In another dream, I was wondering what happened to the baby I had. Also when exactly I gave birth. I asked my father, "When was I in the hospital to have the baby? How come I don't remember it?" In another dream, weeks or months earlier, I was convinced I was pregnant. This was a continuation of that, somehow. "You didn't have a baby," Dad answered, a bit impatiently. I was all "Hmm, maybe you're right. Maybe that was a dream." Then he said that me being a single mother would be a "disaster." For some reason this wasn't especially hurtful to hear. I just sat there and thought, "Okay, Dad thinks I'd depend on Mom and him too much, trying to make them babysit and drive me places, but probably he means that single mothers in general are a disaster. This is because he is Christian, clearly." (Never mind that his mother in real life had a kid - his half brother - before she was married.) Anyway, I was searching for a counter-example, so I thought of my aunt on my mother's side. Hadn't she raised my cousin L. mostly by herself, after my uncle took off to Edmonton? But did she depend on her parents too much? Or did they depend too much on her, at their age? (And I was sure Bubby and Zeyde* were their first names!) *Yiddish for "grandma" and "grandpa", of course; what L. called them. Other dictionary spells it "bubbeh", maybe because "bubby" evokes ruddy-faced American man who play basketball, but I am thinking of Babe Ruth, because intertextuality. But L. pronounced it with an "ee" at the end, not the "eh" that ends, say, Persian names. But maybe "eh" represents "ee"? 191029 ... e_o_i I meant "men". I cannot even plural. But yes, what happened is that I calmly accepted I didn't have a baby after all. And then spent the minute or so of swimming up to wakefulness worrying that I wasn't organized and was depending on my parents too much. 191029 ... e_o_i Also I meant baseball, not basketball, of course. In my last dream I was writing in a notebook and wondering if what I wrote would be somehow accessible when I woke up. 200403 what's it to you? who go blather from