avoidant_tendencies nr i have more of these than i'd realized 210907 ... unhinged oh lord...mine are pathological. but in recent years i've dug to the bottom of them (my earliest days in an incubator and always being told to quit my crying growing up). now i'm hoping to become better at sharing difficult things. maybe. someday. 210908 ... kerry same, according to my therapist. (but i prefer not to think about it) 210909 ... unhinged (back in the early days of blather someone posted a link to one of those diagnostic quizzes and i scored pretty damn high in avoidant categories. i have lived far away from my family for almost twenty years now because i'd rather not have to tell or show them how i really feel. my mom's hysterical reactions to my first serious bouts of depression didn't help but i think being told to quit crying when i was too young to have the words to explain why i was crying and not getting held enough when i was first born probably have more to do with it. so much gets wired in our brains in those early days; i learned very early that no one was coming to help me. sometimes i still break down in tears when i realize that i am the only person that can help me. but sometimes the expectation of outside help isn't really all that helpful. we all got our shit i suppose.) 210909 ... kerry (we definitely all have our shit. i got the quit being depressed talk too. "if you smile you'll feel better!") now i avoid: -walking under ladders -checking my email at night -the patio because it is full of mosquitos 210909 ... nr an attachment-focused therapist said that not being able to remember many past experiences in detail is more typical of dismissive avoidants. because memory triggers emotion which triggers fear. 211023 what's it to you? who go blather from