autopsychosis symbol junky i thought i'd write much. think things out. but i've tired myself corresponding with my new collection of worldwide penpals. mm. 031004 ... maruku you think, you thought, you think you thought you 'know' too much. 031004 ... luck is green and i don't know what else to say. you realize now the consequences for your actions, that you never wanted to take responsibility for.. maybe you've done well. but you know the pain was there. 031004 ... salamander/lunatic you know you wanted this for a long time, yet it hurt. you like hurting yourself? i can't really tell. you went nuts, i watched, drank yourself to oblivion. say what again. 031004 ... typhoid and what was all this i heard you say of 'love'. caring. actually feeling, for a change, instead of the cold blue nothingness you've wrapped around you, keep yourself alone? i say now your experiment failed, you're trapped in your head, with only your thoughts to keep you company. as so i said. 031004 ... symbol junky and i say it was love, i did feel things, and i say it was because i felt things that i acted as i did. i tried to justify, by defending the feelings of another. that didn't work, you know how well that went. so now i'm looking out for myself. i couldn't live with the details, though i definitely could have tried harder. i made my mind up, i didn't want to change anyone or anything. 031004 ... flux a friendly reminder: the more things change, the more they stay the same. 031004 ... flux keep your eye out and your head up. 031004 ... ( ... ) you push people away, if they get to close. you're paranoid, you don't trust anyone, you've never been able to talk about your feelings, ever. distrust is the root of your problems. 031004 ... typhoid and even more, this distrust may be the heart of your disassociation. you can't deal with your feelings on your own, and you're too afraid to share them, so you cut them off. hence us. 031004 ... symbol junky and and and, so you say, i need to find someone i can *trust*? that all? i can do it.. watch me.. watch me take steps i've never taken all these years ago... 031005 ... maruku proverbs for paranoids, my ass. 031005 ... typhoid now stop asking us for advice. we're a symptom, a crutch. you see, you know solutions to your fears, of addiction, failure (yes, that too). you use us, you use people. quit it. move on. now. 031005 ... flux as a sidenote, i'm thinking to myself here, and this isn't supposed to make sense unless you and i are the same. and without furthur ado, 031005 ... u24 rem 040614 ... amy in red computer geeks. 120113 ... flux chapel perilous isn't actually a place that you can leave. but that's also not an answer. 230213 what's it to you? who go blather from