doubt
bespeckled She thinks of him with fond thoughts,
recalling the touch of his fingertips and the brush of his lips against her skin.

If only she could shake the shadow of doubt from her thoughts - that creeping invader which overtakes her fond recollections. It is that monster of misconstrued meaning that grabs her by the wrist and pulls her away from his embrace.

She waits for the time that she is near him,
for only when she is with him,
touching him,
beside him,
does the threat disappear from her mind.
021127
...
skinny today i was thinking that it was possible noone really cared.

and then i realized

it was absolutely true.
050309
...
nom i doubt that i doubt 070327
...
jane doubt -
this itchy thing.

not painful, no - but spreading
its spider seeds
across my cerebrum.

like the stories of boiled frogs, it happens slowly
(speedy means readiness,
alertness, attention)
so indetectable,
until at once,
there it is.

no exterminator available, i am left
with doubting thoughts and cracking eggs
of lamentation,

frying, bubbles up,
like red wrinkled unnamed tumors of anti-ecstasy.
090921
...
gja paranoia big destroyer 111013
...
auburn I am just doubting everything.

All of my feelings seem so insecure. I don't feel equipped to take care of myself.
111015
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from