regressing nr who even knows which way is forward? 230228 ... nr sarah and james were standing together by the bar. sarah was feeling a little off, maybe because she could never find anyone to accompany her to these shows, so everyone there were people she only kind of knew who were all part of a scene she wasn't really in. she was only there because of james and his band. the band's keyboard player, dan, walked up to james, not noticing sarah at first. sarah waved, and then dan clocked her and said it was nice to see her and reached in for a hug. sarah's left elbow knocked over her beer on the bar when she went to hug him back. she tried to play it cool and wiped up the spilled beer, dan muttered "sorry" and then turned to chat with others. "you spilled your beer with one elbow and bumped my beer with your other one," james teased. sarah half-smiled, embarrassed. she wondered why these awkward moments still took over sometimes. she had been alive for over three decades and been to lots of therapy. in what moments did they occur, and with which people? she has a bit of a crush on dan, but she barely knows him. she thinks it might be because he reminds her of someone. she won't act on that crush, but she craves his approval. she wonders what would happen, say in an alternate universe, if they were both single. she doubts she'd have a chance. she's also not sure she'd want one, but that doesn't seem to matter much in the moment. 250531 what's it to you? who go blather from