left_out j_blue because i dont think we can be right_out, can we? 010615 ... psychobabe *sigh* why am I feeling left out of so many things lately? i'm not sayin its other peoples fault its just...i dunno i feel left out. Thats all.. 011123 ... nr everyone talks to everyone else more than they talk to me. it's not the best for the self_esteem. 211209 ... nr maybe it's due to avoidant_tendencies or just not the right connections 211209 ... unhinged the_far_edge_of_the_circle 211210 ... epitome of incomprehensibility I can step back and say it's usually an illusion, and even when it's true it's just a side effect of people being preoccupied with themselves. But the reasoning doesn't always reach my feelings. 211210 ... FauxGrr Amazingly enough, the same people who left me out of things when I was in high school still do now. I am not sure why I am friends with them still aside from the fact that I know they are not always the healthiest mentally. Or maybe I just stopped caring. At my age, being left out does hurt but not as much as it did back when I was young. 250107 ... raze the people who used to tell me i took this sort of thing too personally were the same ones who were blowing me off or not bothering to tell me they were in town until they'd already left, if i didn't hear it secondhand from someone else. there's a joke in there somewhere, but i never did find the punchline. 250108 ... nr i want to hang out with you and i'm jealous that you're hanging out with her a lot. you're both my friends and i wish i was invited and/or that i hung out with you as much. and her as much, to a lesser extent. i wonder if this regressing will ever stop. 260316 ... ovenbird I can relate to the sting of this feeling nr. I don’t think it gets easier as you get older. The sense that people could have included you but actively chose not to, or didn’t think of you at all, hurts just as much now as it did when I was a kid. There are a lot of moms in the co-op with kids about the same age as mine. These are people that I fundamentally like. I’ve served on the co-op board with many of them. In the past I had craft nights and a book club that I invited them to, but they never invite me to anything. I was recently talking to one of these women and she casually mentioned that all the moms who are home during the day went out for lunch. I’m home during the day. They didn’t invite me. And somehow thought it was no big deal to point out the fact that they all went out for lunch without giving me a second thought. That one stung. There have been other incidents. I have never been able to figure out why I’m regularly left out in this way, but it eats away at self esteem, even in middle age. 260317 ... nr thanks for the solidarity and validation, ovenbird; i agree with how this still feels shitty in middle age, and i'm sorry you have had to deal with it too. others just don't realize how cool it is to hang out with us! it's one thing if someone isn't that close to you and doesn't invite you to something. it's another if someone seemingly is pretty close to you and has invited you to everything in the past, and was texting you on the same day their party was, and invited others they have in the past as well, but still didn't invite you. the confusion hurts the most. 260318 what's it to you? who go blather from