reason_for_playing PeeT no_reason for doubting your passion for music. you play and that is reason enough. what you lack is contacts if your goal is to play live. 120118 ... no reason my goal isn't just to play live (that in itself isn't hard to organize, and i'm not lacking in contacts). i was mostly feeling off because i wasn't putting in the time to get as good as i wanted to be, for various reasons. i'm now feeling more motivated to work at it without being intimidated by others or being frustrated with not getting there right away. because as you said, the most important thing is to be playing. 120118 ... amy in red as far as the contacts thing goes, he, like me, is probably thinking big, big, big. like something in rolling stone. s. as for me i haven't touched a piano in a decade because of some Twin Peaks Leland Palmer garbage-o-rama (our piano is a "Leland") (my dad and i both played it THANK YOU DAVID LYNCH) although it's not like I knew how to play band-piano anyway. also in my (first) adolescence i dreamed of being a back-up singer. (i have really accurate dreams) 120119 ... no reason hmm. i don't "think big" like that at all, as it's not what i want from music. my highest goals are to become a master of the instrument(s), and play with others who are too, for my own artistic satisfaction. praise is nice, of course, and recognition is welcome if it means more artistic opportunity, but other than that, i'm really not interested. 120119 ... amy in red ah well, whatever i do, writing or whatever, i've found that i need an audience to even function... and the audience that matches up with me, or so-called me, or whatever, has definitely grown bigger in the last 5 years or so. did i say whatever enough? i don't say it to be dismissive but only to be non-rejectionary. although i don't think too many people care too much if they get rejected by me... (i tend to make things harder, is the impression i always get. well, poo on them. they will eventually take the start-em-up energy and run with it eventually, anyway and forget how much of a not-cog i really was/am/will be... worthless! that's me.) i'm working on the ethics and/or morals side of the writing this year, whether or not i can for sure write something. after that, it will be time to practice writing in a much more crafterly manner. (not that there's any money in THAT, anymore. seriously all i want is maybe a little house and maybe one child, and maybe some healthcare and retirement when i get older.... but i know i will deserve even adequate versions of these it's just that the world wasn't really meeting me, and i never learned to meet the world, so i will die alone of a heart attack in my mother's house, the best-otherwise outcome.) & the writing thing will happen, more or less, whether my prince makes the princess-saving grade, or not. & i've got my money down on at least "Two Princes". blah blah blah and on and on. 120119 ... no reason interesting (and i don't feel offended or rejected). for me, i much prefer playing with other people, because i need the human connection (and as a drummer, rather than a composer, i'm used to accompanying others). audiences are good for showing what you've learned, and can be exciting (and compliments from people who you admire go a long way), but in general they make me nervous. i don't like to think people could be judging me harshly, but i'm trying to get over that as much as possible. 120120 ... no reason "audiences can be good for showing what you've learned" that sounded more academic than i meant "showing off your skills" maybe, instead 120120 what's it to you? who go blather from