her_name_rhymes_with_fancy raze she has my mother's name. she plays harmonium. there's this almost childlike thing in her voice, but it's versatile. it's a voice that's been a part of a lot of different soundscapes. i asked if she would sing on something, and she said she would, and now i have to write the thing for her to sing. she said she loves pj harvey and sparklehorse. that's perfect, because i was thinking of doing something that starts out crazed and abrasive before getting pancaked into something hushed and dreamy, and now i have a good excuse to do what i was probably going to do anyway. 150203 ... raze this still needs to happen. stupid cut on finger held me back from the kind of manic guitar-playing i want to do for a while, kept me from the way i want to choke the thing until it groans an ugly hallelujah. stupid cut took its time healing but is pretty much healed now. so no more excuses. 150405 ... raze i haven't found the right thing to ask her to sing yet. sometimes these things take a while. sometimes you write a dozen songs to get to the one that feels right. sometimes you think you've made it there, and then you realize what you thought felt right three days ago doesn't feel right anymore. sometimes you're glad it takes a while, because you know the song you end up with will be more right than any of the things that felt right before it. 150927 ... raze and sometimes you're right. i found the thing. the thing is "your_mother_and_i". sort of a worst-case scenario imagining of the talking-to you think you're about to get when you're a kid and your dad says, "your mother and i are very concerned about you." there's no poetry in those words. what is in them is the terror of not knowing what you've done to cause concern (unless you know, in which case ... you know). it was fun trying to tap into that fear and steer it in the direction of a nightmare. not that everyone hears those words as a kid. i never did. but there's something in them that feels universal, tapping into some primal anxiety. if i'm the father, there needs to be a mother character in there backing me up. that's where she came in. i wanted to write something where she had the spotlight all to herself and i didn't sing at all. this wasn't that. but i thought it might be interesting. her voice was just what it needed. there was a lot of laughing, too. and she smelled amazing. it's always nice when someone who smells that good wants to give you a hug before they go. gives you hope that for a few seconds some of their magic might rub off on you. 160109 ... raze she brought a little care package for me, too. some tea, some incense, a cookie. what a sweet thing to do. the cookie was heavenly. i still need to try the tea. 160112 ... raze not that haircuts are a significant part of my life now, but you do need a little maintenance once in a while. i think she's the person i might try going to for that. she's a hairdresser too, after all. 170602 what's it to you? who go blather from