sad
kendera
and then i dreamed of you, reaching.
and then i woke up, breathing.

and then i saw you, staring.

and i was dying.......
010622
...
silentbob an ocean, a flood
a bitchslap, a rain
010623
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the electric ghost of roy baty ...all these moments lost

like tears in rain
010623
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soia pirating software is too much work
think I'll just take a nap
010623
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kerry where have you gone, joe dimaggio

a nation turns it's lonely eyes to you
021117
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light therapy seasonal affective disorder has a lot to do with it. 021117
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MisterMourning winter, summer spring, fall, the season matters not when there is always some new misery poised like the fuckin' sword of Damocles hanging over my sorry head 021117
...
kerry in the car i looked out the window and oldies were playing on the radio and sitting at the bus stop was a woman maybe about 25, perfect brown soft-looking skin and round pearish body, wonderful brown curls spiralling and corkscrewing out everywhere and she held a cellphone in one hand between her knees and cried. lips were trembling and she wiped her eyes and put her head in her hands. 030418
...
bandersnatch am i the only one who prefures being sad to almost any other emotion?

i just wish i could access it more
030620
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mon uow i feel guilty and sad
and guilty and sad
for feeling

guilty and sad
050320
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nom i'll be sad if not 060212
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nom not sure why i just am 061224
...
thorn i am i am i am 061224
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thorn i can't bother people with my crazyness on christmas eve 061224
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nom when i don't hear 070112
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nom why



because



i'm stupid
070116
...
nom i was trying to say decapacitating and i stumbled into decapitating

but maybe i meant incapacitating
070118
...
nom i went to sleep sad


doubting everything
070415
...
nom well not everything
but everything
070415
...
no reason it was a weird night
full of things i don't think about anymore
070415
...
no reason knowing the things i want also want me but it's difficult 081113
...
nr i just feel sad these days and i can't pinpoint exactly why, but i can guess. it could be disappointment over something i thought i had. it could be caution over something i might be able to have but am not sure i really want but in some ways i really do want it. it could be the loneliness i feel in this job and in this city.

something just needs to happen.
160302
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nr just get me sad so i can write poetry 211209
...
unhinged the first holidays without my dad are hitting hard 211210
...
nr at the probable loss of possibility
the possible loss of probability?
the lossability?
221124
what's it to you?
who go
blather
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