goddammit bespeckled You know what? Fuck this. I don't need this guilt-trip, pointless jealousy, regret and wishes for a different past. What happened, happened. We didn't work out, and now i'm suddenly evil, now I'm suddenly this girl who wasn't a girl at all, but a demon who wore masks and pretended to be something better than I was. I never pretended to be something more than I was! I never pretended to be more pure! I acted on my thoughts and let my heart guide me each and every second of our time together. Maybe you see me differently now than I did then, but I was never a faker, never a tourist, never lied about being as terrible as I am. I am a bad person. I've said it before. I don't deserve true love, because I screw up every chance at happiness that comes my way. You knew that! I told you!! I told you I had problems, I told you I had clouds hanging over my head. You didn't care, you thought it wouldn't affect you. Look, it did, just like I knew it would. I didn't overestimate myself, but you did. That's what you get for having so much faith in me; I let you down like I do everybody! Have fun with your new sinless daisy; I'll never be that pure again. I'm tainted, like the black rose that pricks your finger when you pick it, that no one wants to touch. Enjoy your fresh dose of sunshine; I told you that rain came with the package, but you wouldn't see it. I'm glad your sweet unhinged fairy has rescued you from this evil, swampy lair. I suck out life, I hurt and suffocated and squeeze. Go be joyful, optimistic and free with your happy, happy, HAPPY, HAPPY rainbow!!! 030219 ... bespeckled goddammit!!! 030219 ... bandersnatch ::hugs bespeckled:: there is nothing wrong with acting only on your thoughts and your heart. so just let me say that im sure you did nothing wrong. you are not a bad person, and everyone deserves true love. 030220 ... Cicero quick to call upon history... not so quick with reserved judgement... 030223 what's it to you? who go blather from