you_can_do_weirder epitome of incomprehensibility You_can_do_better, personalized: my method for minimizing my anger and reducing fallout from temper strikes. May not work for everyone. A few weeks ago. Mad at people for taking up bathroom and upsetting my planned shower-schedule. Factor in a bit of self-dislike, because I don't often act as if I'm on a schedule, but when I do I tend to stick to it defensively. The main problem is, it's summer and I've worn sandals all day, so my feet are dirty. I just washed my sheets and made my bed. I don't want to go to bed with dirty feet. My solution? Sit on the counter and wash my feet in the sink with dish soap. My anger dissipates and I get the sleep I need, pure(ish) of heart and clean of foot. Analysis: the thrill of rebelliousness at doing something unconventional makes me feel like I'm being "bad" and reduces some of the bad temper. Because I get annoyed at little things sometimes. I don't want to, but I do. And instead of making a fuss, I want to act like an adult - admittedly a contrarian one. 140716 ... e_o_i A similar thing happened to me this past weekend. Choir practice and someone hands me a water bottle. It's free; she's being nice; but I'm in a grouchy mood and inclined to preach that all plastic water bottles are evil and will burn eternally in the earth's molten core - or decompose over a few thousand years, too slowly. So I accept it, put it aside, and get rid of my silly anger (because really, why am I angry? possibly I'm partly angry at myself being angry) by singing the tenor part one octave higher when I'm supposed to be singing the soprano. No one really notices, except the tenors find it easier to stick to their part. That one isn't unconventional so much - the idea was I was being bad by showing off my sight-reading (picked up rather slowly, and I still can't do it for piano with more than one voice at a time) so this "badness" would counteract the irrational urge that I felt to make a snarky remark or put myself on some shaky foothold of moral indignation. ...She could, for example, tell me not to eat meat. What have chickens ever done to me? 140716 ... e_o_i (Later I gave the water bottle to a volunteer with the lunch program. Retelling is lengthy enough, but analysis is exhausting. And Freud would just say that chickens represent breasts and my bisexuality is caused by an abnormal attachment to my mother's travels to other countries, "country" being a codeword for vagina, some sort of apotheosis of an abstract vagina, but here I'm getting into Jungian territory. Plato's cave-in of capitulation to the allure of the Sybil, who receives messages from the Presbyterian god about going to parks and talking to people, something I do half of. I go to parks and talk to the computer about it. I believe I have a half-completed story that isn't a story about Terra_Cotta_Park. I should take one of the park_project pilots out of strictly realist mode. Take a cue from the flying cards of J. G. Ballard. Also, self, shut up and go to sleep. Kindly, your animal animus. A chicken.) 140716 ... unhinged i don't play like that: no power struggles no stroking fragile egos if thats not good enough for you, you can go somewhere else 140717 what's it to you? who go blather from