well_rested e_o_i Finally, finally, in December. I don't think I've been this since September. The crease, the undereye shading, stays; that's just how eyes are shaped. The small line remains a line, because I can't turn back time. The slight rhyming I can't explain. Here, I'll break the habit. But getting enough sleep is good. 231228 ... raze i haven't had a truly restorative sleep in almost fifteen months. sometimes i even struggle to speak coherently in my dreams now. the woman i love, who isn't anyone i've ever known, cups one hand over the most meaningful parts of my face and makes it hard for me to breathe. she assumes i'd rather die than go on like this. she thinks she's doing me a favour by taking fear and indecision out of the equation. i swear those pictures were right there in that magazine i threw on the floor. i saw them. they were on page eighty-two. "look back" was the name of the feature. it was about two artists you wouldn't think to pair up, both of them bald and bloated by wealth, working on an album together. trying to claw back some of the dignity they surrendered so long ago. now that's all gone, and there's one photograph in the place six or seven were before. a small group of people from my past. everyone looks different. the softness of their childhood features warped and weathered by time. i only know who they are because my mind is still malleable enough to fill in some of the gaps made by all the years we've spent away from one another. it's funny what you can get used to when you don't have any other choice. 231229 ... epitome of incomprehensibility It sucks that such a thing is a struggle again, even if it didn't pounce up like: and_now_with_sudden_swift_emergence, i'm_not_sleeping. ...but if it's any consolation, rest is at least an on-and-off thing for me, and I can barely talk coherently in real life. As for blather-writing, lately I keep leaving off prepositions. Here's to a better 2024 and less intrusively noisy surroundings (looking at YOU, trains and airplanes). 231231 what's it to you? who go blather from