starved unhinged for affection (the physical kind) 090119 ... raze you and me both, nic. you and me both. 090119 ... unhinged as soon as i got home from work today, the tears welled to my eyes at the thought of being all alone again. it doesn't help that i play a game with myself on the way home from work on mondays. i see how long i can NOT speak before he notices. i made it within a block of my place today before my natural reaction to speak took over. he just laughed when i got out of his car dejected, with a meek 'thanks. good bye' maybe it is better for me that he is talking about quitting. he is like a mirage in the desert. cruel, unyielding, oblivious. i am tempted to get in contact with the last guy i dated. but i didn't really like him which is why i broke up with him. i am really tired of being strong and alone. mostly tired of the alone part though. 090119 ... unhinged (i've been drinking a lot lately to try to make up for it, but it doesn't help) 090119 ... grendelbirdmad similarly, besides the constant need to snack, there is always the almost bothersome case of having a_hunger_for_it. i've been largely cured of my romantic notions but nor am i always in that animal frenzy 090120 ... unhinged i don't think it's necessarily a romantic notion, my need to be touched. but, i also have a lot of those, romantic notions. winter has a tendency to make the hunger more obvious, prominent. maybe it's primal; i'd sure be warmer with someone else's body heat to add to the_little_radiator_that_could under the down covers. i made the best dinner yesterday of the heat, boil, bake variety. a quorn cutlet, premade garlic mashed potatoes and peas. it's like a long distance hug from my mom when i make a meal like that. when i was a kid, it was the best to come home to meat and potatoes on a cold day. 090126 ... very hungry bird along those lines, i think i may just have to make a meatloaf, some 4-cheese mashed potatoes and some green beans with garlic, pepper and mushrooms (and as if to prove me utterly and irretrievably full of shit in the other direction: the last few days have been one giant backslide into mental discomfort as a woman who is a bloody near exact replica of someone from my past has been riding my bus lately...even down to the clothes she wears...the years i kept my id on a very tight leash, thinking i could prove a point...damn,,,) 090126 ... unhinged but i don't really notice these days until my stomach starts rattling the bars of it's empty cage 090430 ... PeeT it's a good feeling we all need to know more. 130118 what's it to you? who go blather from