slump epitome of incomprehensibility I am the epitome of uselessness. I had to work online for two hours today. Only two hours. But for some reason I spent the whole afternoon at the computer, mostly not even doing anything useful but reading comics. I can't really blame the Internet. I tried to read the first few pages of Nadja but it didn't last long; I'd felt rather book-starved, having read poetry here and there but no novels in over a month, and I wanted to read a bona fide surrealist novel to help me with my own surreal(ist) NaNoWriMo venture, but I couldn't stick to reading it. I haven't been outside all day. It's strange. I'm not depressed. I'm annoyed at my teeth, because if the end ones keep chipping I'll have to go ahead and have my those so-called wisdom teeth pulled out, which hurts and I'll have to pay all of it, but people have suffered worse. The dentist said they wouldn't last past age 30, and I tried a semi-witty riposte about getting a job with full coverage before then, but what are the chances of a job with anything like that happening? It seems I actually have to make an effort. But it's hard to know where to apply that effort. Life is short. I want to finish another writing project. But there's no use in saying you'll do something and not do it. I don't know what's wrong with me. My entire life I've been disorganized and often thoughtless, even cruel sometimes, but I managed to finish at least some of the goals I'd set out to do. Also, I had the most friends at the time I was generally the worst to my peers - in elementary school. (Although I remember the definition of "friend" at that developmental level being contingent upon one's shareable recess treats... That's curious; I must have been charming, because I remember my snacks being mostly baby-cut carrots and little raisin boxes.) See, now I'm being silly. Why can't I just be properly miserable? At least then I'd know what I was feeling. One thing is certain: I should at least step outside tomorrow. I haven't been outside at all today. 141120 ... raze you're not useless; you're temporarily eustice. it's a pronunciation thing, misheard by the brain. it happens to us all from time to time. 141120 ... e_o_i Thanks for the smile. And that explains it! I'm Eustace Clarence Scrubb from the Narnia books, which means I'll turn into a dragon sometime, but then I'll find it's no fun being a dragon, so I'll turn back into myself. And I'll learn an Important Lesson about being nice to others. 141121 ... raze i spelled eustace wrong! nooooooo! but i'm glad it had the intended effect, misspelling and all. 141121 what's it to you? who go blather from