nabokov kerry what's up, old pal? it's been a while, but you look the same. several months ago i peeked at you, skimmed through some pages, and put you back. it was something about ada; those memories of spending time with her were too much (so vivid where i stood, what i heard, unfinished, the rolling thunder in my chest). but in a bookstore i found a slim, well-loved edition of "transparent things," printed in 1974. you were still alive when it hit the shelves. i have to be honest... it was good, but not my favorite. maybe you were tired at that point? it happens to the best of us. my postmodern fiction professor (rachel, we were all in love with her) guided us through "pale fire." you and i had spent plenty of time together but that book is a beast, a puzzle, and i was grateful for her help. she spoke fluent french and russian, like you. she even taught us how to pronounce your name correctly. sting had it all wrong--it's nahBOCKoff, not NABuhkov. (sometimes i mispronounce it so i don't sound like a snob). we were already acquainted but i was jealous of your history with rachel. it was a competitive jealousy, like the competition of two friends to be the favorite of the third. i'm over that now. i bury myself in you shamelessly and laugh at your jokes. did i ever tell you how fucking funny you are? i see you in my writing, transparent homages, particularly when it comes to punctuation, parentheticals, and rhythm. i think until recently this would have bothered me. it would've been especially painful pining for you in grad school when i sat around a table and watched as my pages were ruthlessly shredded by my peers. i didn't realize that they didn't know any more than i did. people warned me (what people? doesn't matter) that our professors would try to carve out our precious adverbs, make us as efficient and cold as hemingway and raymond carver. they were right. short stories are so confining. their future is bleak. so i will enjoy your echoes and little tricks. i'm cackling through "despair." alex asked what i like so much about you. i said, "he talks to you." it's good to be back. 220907 ... epitome of incomprehensibility I wrote about Transparent_Things a while back! Though I haven't reread it, and it might be barely coherent. (I said I thought it would be cool if the book told the story of the characters entirely through objects. Kind of To-the-Lighthouse-ish. Or something.) You probably don't waste time on YouTube as much as I do, but if you're interested, a youngish playwriter-critic with the channel name Lola Sebastian has video essays on Lolita and how some of its modernizations miss the point(s). I like her style and content. 220908 ... e_o_i Clarification: my blathe might not be coherent. I didn't mean Nabokov's novel! 220908 ... kerry ooh thanks for the recommendation!! i'll check it out! 220911 what's it to you? who go blather from