awake kerry no school today, cancelled because it is 9 degrees and our schools cant handle the cold weather. i am listening to Louis Armstrong "what a wonderful world" looking at the beautiful frost like lace on the windowpanes eating bread and butter.... what will i do with my day? my camera has half a roll of film left in it. now there's a New York Dolls song playing and I want to put on my red peacoat and go take color pictures. i tried to make prints last night of my tuba picture. it was a disaster. first i forgot how cold it was, so the developer was painfully slow, and i wasted all this paper because i underestimated how long it would take. then i thought i had the right time and i made two prints, one for me and one for the back of my door, and it just looked so gray and ... blah, when i turned on the lights. it was ugly. i was mad, i cussed some, it was the beginning of a bad end to a good day. i was so frustrated i put all the chemicals away and cleaned everything up and stormed around the house and my parents were being crazy, i wanted to walk to jackie's and they said it was too cold and i'd freeze. so i holed up in my room cutting up pictures of tulips and looking at magazines and listening to sonic youth. the ramones aren't that great... today i'll call someone up and go take pictures and jump on the trampoline and go crazy 030124 ... lotuseater always too long insomnia... the only thing to do is think. or try to not think... but i usually just end up passing out from lack of stimulii at like 3 in the morn. just lying there... staring at the tapestries and things i have strung about my room. the tiny glow of the 12:00 blinking on my vcr illuminates the entire room when your eyes adjust. 030418 what's it to you? who go blather from