it_was_the_fire eatingstars he noticed the fire reflecting in her eyes but it wasn't her he started thinking about no he had left those thought circles in a pile of shit months ago it was the fire there was something about fire that made him feel again he wasn't sure but maybe he knew perhaps the way the yellow mixed with orange with red with sometimes blue without actually mixing or maybe the way it looked so soft he wanted to pet it, caress it it was so soft and he felt his insides burning to pieces he felt connected with fire in a way he had not felt connected to anything since the day he let go he didn't want to be there he didn't want to make an effort he didn't want to think about anything he didn't want what was happening what had happened. he wanted only the fire and tried to ignore everything. he was succeeding. hair fell into his eyes but he was unconcerned. 060315 ... eatingstars she glanced at fin he hadn't made this easy sometimes she wished he would burn in the fire her eyes wandered to the windows it was raining she hated rain but she wanted to be in it wanted it to wash her away she wanted to feel the ice of her insides pelting her soft skin the wall opposite the windows had a painting of a lone tree swaying in the wind. she remembered his promise the way he said it his words floating down to her from his fucking tree what a fucking joke. she had wanted so badly to believe she saw his hair falling into his eyes she saw him disappearing she wanted to whisper in his ear she wanted him to know but the fire calmed her and she resisted 060316 ... eatingstars steve looked at layna and fin. he was wasting his fucking time. he couldn't understand, he'd never felt what theyd felt. his words seemed to melt in the firy flames. he had only wanted to help, that was his job, but he couldn't resist the feeling that he was only making it worse. 060427 ... eatingstars but it was the same thing over and over and over and it was making his head swim. there had to be a way out. there had to be had to be had to be he thought he was losing it. he knew she hated him, he could feel it pulsing through the room. he couldn't see a way to make it better, he didn't care. he didn't know how love could do this to a person. steve's words were a blur, he hadn't been listening since they got there. 060427 ... eatingstars layna shut her eyes and pushed her chair back she walked out of the room without saying a word she hadn't said a world all evening, not even hi she couldn't get up enough courage to open her mouth without her carefully constructed exterior falling like tears to the ground not talking was an easy price to pay once outside layna peered at the sky and begged for help she knew she wouldn't receive what do you do when your world, the only one youve ever wanted ever hoped for, is coming to an end? she wanted to lay flat on the ground and melt away in the rain, mix with the ground, drip into the gutters. instead she walked, eyes shut wishing everything would fucking leave her alone 060801 ... eatingstars the fire eventually burns everyone 081027 what's it to you? who go blather from