a_cloud_of_magnolia cr0wl and so i was working at hawksworth today, a mansion built at the turn of the century that so easily reminds me of a sprawling manor set in an e.m. forster novel. it was during a perfect, sun-smiling afternoon when spring unabashedly announced she is here to stay and what do the doors of my eyes fly open to behold but a hundred year-old magnolia, not in full bloom, but un-fucking-believable full bloom. i approached it like a jittery child on christmas morning, catching the generous waft of its intoxicating fragrance even as i jauntily stepped up to it from fifty feet away. when i reached it i did like any fortunate gardener would do...i thrust my face completely into its yielding, velveteen branches and wrapped its fragile, exquisite blooms around my face like a woman's silken thighs. i closed my eyes for at least a minute. my headphones were tight around my backwards baseball hat. i was listening to joseph arthur again. two thoughts came to my mind: 1. nature is a perfect teacher. she has every answer to any question. she told me through the delicate fragrance of vanilla and perfume that the winter she endured was full of intricate suffering but it wasn't anything she couldn't endure. she not only triumphed over it but because of it there would be great and worthy celebration and that's why she was so full of glorious flowers. "don't worry about hardship," she whispered, caressing my sunburned cheeks and shoulders with her tongue-like petals. "it's only your soul turned inside out like a garment. here, let me turn it right side out. there you go." she kissed me and i rolled into another cloud for the second thought. 2. in a quick vision i beheld my 1960's mother as if i was five and she was getting ready to go out with my father. i could see her applying make up, legs crossed, her best dress hugging her hips. she was stunningly beautiful. it created a distance between us for i always wanted to marry my mother, yet i knew it was necessary for her to do these things, so i let her go, and as the magnolia petals dropped one by one to the earth, nudged loose by the gentlest of breezes, i knew i had come one step closer to understanding what it meant to be an adult, for you see i always need to be reminded. 100402 ... lostgirl more lessons from the wise. my heart swells with joy and with love that is yet unexplained. it was a harsh winter indeed, but well worth the effort. 100402 ... unhinged 1) aw the sun only recently got warm enough to make flowers bloom here; where the crocus are, the magnolia soon follow. 100402 ... unhinged (and thanks to some unseasonable weather this month, it is the glorious time where the magnolias are unfurled but still beautifully stuck to the branches) 100420 what's it to you? who go blather from