skinnier unhinged bones protrude where they didn't used to before 070530 ... hsg is this a want ed thing? 070531 ... unhinged eh, i still have plenty of meat on me. none of my ribs are protruding yet or anything. i like to eat too much for that to ever happen. 070531 ... syrope i'm not ready i thought if i heard "i hate you" squealed one more time...by either one of them...i might vomit. the bitter mentions of the boyfriend, the lame attempts to re-establish our inside jokes. it just hurts more than i thought it would. a lot more. 070601 ... Isaou They're getting suspicious 070601 ... birdmad a lot of muscle gone, a bit of fat still hanging about my belly, i can dress better and i still know how to stand in such a way that i still look formidable i had almost forgotten what it was like to be this light 070602 ... unhinged clavicle metatarsals metacarpals 070602 ... flux knees knuckles cheekbones 070602 ... hsg sexy_clavical 070704 ... hsg sexy_clavicle 070704 ... flowerock should also mean stronger, not weaker. It seems that people associate "skinny" with "weak", I have experienced the opposite. As I gained unwanted weight I became less capable and less confident. As I see my body lose the excess squish and gain stronger muscle, I feel better and happier. I can run up the stairs and feel happy to ride my bike again instead of reluctant as if it were always a chore. people like to tell others when their children or dogs look " too_skinny " likewise my mexican_mom (who is really my best friend's mom) always told me to eat when I visited and cooked me lots of yummy food, because I looked hungry she said. I once heard a blind girl at a restaurant tell her grandfather as she touched his face and shoulders, down his arms to his hands, she said "you feel so hard and sharp, why? people are supposed to feel soft and warm" I was young, maybe middle school. I became obsessed with gaining weight then, I got made fun of for being too_skinny even though I wasn't really... for having no but no boobs and looking_like_a_boy. I wanted to look like a woman with cute fat that stuck out a little on my hips and thighs when I wore pants or shorts, I wanted a but and boobs and to be accepted. Now it's the opposite... I want those things gone and to be strong and a little less squishy... so it goes... The important thing is to be_happy and love_ourselves even if we are not in our ideal_condition we can be happy, loved, and have_a_blast on our journey in these bodies. 140519 ... raze it's pretty surreal when you realize you can fit into your old high school clothes twenty years after graduating and at least fifteen years removed from thinking you'd ever see anything close to that waistline again. i haven't figured out time travel yet, but this feels pretty close. strange as it still is to look in the mirror and see only sixty percent of what was there before, as the cool kids like to say, i'm here for it. 210719 what's it to you? who go blather from