amadeus kerry i got back from the symphony just a little while ago. i filled my program with notes. mainly whatever happened to enter my head at the moment. my scribblings are as follows, verbatim. REALITY is only what you perceive--so i could really not be here at all... i could not exist... and what if everything is just the memory of a life i once led, and i am a soul floating around in which case it would be the notion that God has planned out my fate, if He exists in which case i may continue to float because nothing i do has any effect over what happens to me in the end. and maybe it has already happened? and i am just recalling feelings i once had and what is the point of loving because if you don't, you won't know what you're missing and wouldn't that be better than KNOWING your sense of peace is officially gone because you're wondering when you'll love again. if my life had a score, it would begin the moment i wake up, with the sounds of an orchestra tuning. glasgow boy in white[i did my homework thank-you] even though he's a baritone and sways like a reed you can see it in his lips and the curve of his knees he is still a boy. no matter his demeanor. can i read you from here? can i analyze you from the audience? why do you sit so tall, and were you relieved when you were accepted into Juilliard? or did you expect it? the chorus swaying in medieval solemnity this is D.C. 6th grade (the bad side of town) the orange/blue boho life i wanted to live the cathedrals kudzu and they're scaring me look at these people, look at their lives the things they've done the places they've been the people who love them. the chorus stood and the hall opened up like a shell... the vibrato of its spine reverberating everywhere. she smiles squat stands she is my mother's plump Pilgrim saltshaker and we bring her out at Thanksgiving. i feel as if i'm never sure what you mean. do i even exist? am i here? shouldn't we apologize for what we've done to this nation? HOW could it almost be over? i dreamed i ripped you apart with my voice. which scared me, because what we had couldn't have been any more Delicate. a Bug?? in Symphony Hall???? i thought it would be sterile. 030718 ... mozart loved life... 071031 ... epitome of incomprehensibility After reading kerry's blathe, which feels like a portal to another time, place, mind, my own planned addition seems a little silly. And yes, reading those words brought my memory back to an outdoor concert where I did exactly that - sat down, scribbled thoughts as I listened to Mendelssohn's Italian Symphony. ANYWAY. If you like '80s hair, anachronistic costumes and/or a guy rapping in German about how Mozart was a rock star, I recommend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVikZ8Oe_XA (Falco had a sad ending to his life, though, dying at 40 in a car crash.) 210330 ... e_o_i Rock Me Amadeus! 210330 what's it to you? who go blather from