on_days_like_this raze there's something to be said for eating all the pages you have filled with bitter words and as they leave your body turning them to mulch to feed the soil beneath your feet and as the filthy vines rise up from the earth and twist themselves around your legs you'll breathe a little deeper hoping against hope your lack of movement will appease them everybody knows there's nothing to be known and no deliverance there is no understanding and no way to be understood 210820 ... tender_square there’s something to be said for misreading between the lines for the mutability of words & multiple meanings. i may have misunderstood but i arrived at understanding: there was something to be known in the way our spring shoots grew toward the light we gave each other. i breathe easier knowing that stillness is not indicative of a lack of distance. oh! how my heart has pilgrimaged across these expansive months of longing. hope is a terrible belief to lose. and i very nearly did. 211228 ... kerry difficult but important is remaining in the moment, not thinking about tomorrow. it turns my stomach. i feel more comfortable somewhat distanced from reality. especially on days like this. on the train platform a kid was rolling a joint, fingers moving expertly, head swiveling. both trains, north and south, arrived at once, howling, and it was like being caught in a wind tunnel--or what i imagine it's like in a wind tunnel--and the earth was growling and groaning and the wind blew my hair in my face. i've taken this train before. it was a fluke, but an eerie one. an overwhelming blast of randomness. the kid was in a different car. mine was silent. i got lost trying to transfer to the trolley and a thin man with neon purple sunglasses asked me which direction the trolley was coming from and then asked a second time when i said i didn't know. i was grouchy from being so turned around. being lost in a quiet empty place makes me feel vulnerable, and the platforms are so vacant lately. maybe i got lost because i still had the wind in my face. i want it to happen again, another day like this, where the east and west arrive at the same time. it's like a reminder of being alive. 211228 what's it to you? who go blather from