atlanta kerry we were walking on one of the trails in wissahickon park and saying how hungry we were, and he had a hankering for biscuits which led to some complaining about how hard it's been to find decent biscuits in philadelphia. i told him that when i went to lunch at flannel with paloma she ordered cornbread and a biscuit, and i didn't mention i'd tried their biscuits before--i wanted to see what she thought. she loved the cornbread but when she bit into the biscuit her face fell. "eh." it was half-raw inside, just like mine had been. twice. and it was tall and square, and too dense. he asked where there were good biscuits in atlanta, as if i had to prove my point. well there was the flying biscuit, i said. he said, i didn't like theirs. and when i worked there for a day they didn't give me any food. ah, well that's shitty. but i disagree about the biscuits. why are they so good? they're the right height, and round obviously. and they have flakes and layers inside, and the bottoms are that nice gold color. they do some kind of egg wash on the top that isn't necessary but makes them even better. and where else could you find good biscuits? nothing came immediately to mind and i was scrolling through my rolodex of memories and all the cards were blank. i remembered working at thumbs up diner and remembered toast but biscuits, who knows, and there's always mrs winner's and chick-fil-a but those doen't count. there's pastries a go-go which was always a let-down and did the majestic have biscuits? did java jive? i felt deflated. i always wanted to escape, always knew that i would fly away and probably never come back--not for long anyway--but i'd still always felt rooted there. like even after years of being elsewhere i'd still know it like the back of my hand, the history, the tricks, shortcuts for shortcuts. but it's slowly fading. when i go there, i see how atlanta is now more memory than reality for me, but when i leave i believe somehow that i still know it. and now i realize that's not true, not anymore. and now when people ask where i'm from i don't know quite what to say but for the sake of convenience now i say oregon, and depending on context and time and interest i may add that i grew up in georgia, but i may not, because now it doesn't seem as relevant. and it's confusing because to be from the west coast is very different from being from the south, or that's the impression i get. "why would you ever leave" is when i say oregon, and "oh" or maybe "i have a cousin/friend/sibling/whatever who lives there" but it's always the suburbs. and now for holidays instead of saying i'm going home, i say i'm going to atlanta. 220925 what's it to you? who go blather from