asceticism flux so, i guess i was initiated into a shinto cult a few years ago in japan. this involved kneeling and chanting with as much energy as i could muster for about 3 days in ten 45-60 minute sessions. i sprained both of my ankles after standing up too quickly on the first day, and just kept sitting on them. and yet all of that didn't even bring me to a breaking point. so i suppose i need to go back and try it again. it did bring me to a lot of places, especially thinking on my grandmother who'd shortly before suffered a series of minor strokes and was confined to a hospital with a tube down her throat. what i was doing was voluntary, but she was probably truly suffering. 140822 ... unhinged wasnt siddarthas thing isnt my thing its a fine line between moderation and indulgence. be gentle with yourself. shambhala_training 140823 ... flux it mayn't have been siddartha's thing, but it certainly a stage he went through, as well as hedonism, before finding the middle_way. personally, i was surprised at realizing that, after consciously accepting that i didn't have any particular interest in following in his footsteps, i seem to have followed at least some of them. and while i still eschew any particular goal, i've certainly learned things about myself in the process. to me, real asceticism seems to focus on ignoring pain and suffering, which is the same as ignoring anything else about ones existence. but some ascetic training has helped me to learn to listen to pain, fear, etc., but not be ruled by it. when attempting to generalize, though, it's always important to remember there's as many paths as there's seekers. 140826 ... flux the practice itself (misogi_no_kokyu_ho; みそぎのこきゅうほう) involves sitting in a kneeling position (seiza), breathing exercises and chanting (which, as i don't speak ancient japanese, is just another breathing exercise). when practiced with Strong Intent, it is simultaneously cathartic, meditative, and physically strenuous. in recent years a few videos have popped up on youtube featuring people practicing in derivative but recognizable styles; i have to say there's something fundamentally different in each of these from what we do in brooklyn and what i experienced in japan. but perhaps together they can give you some sort of idea: youtu.be/ZJdNNkLkzeQ youtu.be/54nwTOmxjxM youtu.be/pT-cRCaTcMo 140826 ... flux misogi is only a piece of my training, though; most of it is structured on breaking down habits of mind and body, through aikido, iaido, and zazen. for the time being, it's exactly what i need, even though it's nothing i ever knew i wanted. 140826 ... unhinged i like chanting too. shambhala chants are written in english which is nice on a lot of levels. the sadhana_of_mahamudra is my main practice within shambhala now. sometimes i do shamatha. sometimes metta. maybe its my chanting practice, or my lineage studies, but i am being more and more pulled towards mahamudra. i started doing this practice synthesized from my studies where i just stop in the middle of whatever is upsetting me and tap into the mahamudra, the space, the joy, the basic_goodness. it is there every moment, no matter what. it is best to tap into in times of suffering. i cut through suffering right into the joy of being. it is a baby practice, something new to my world, something inherent in me as an extension of things i have learned. i will see what the long term effect is. in the mean time, i think i will go indulge in some beer, cheese, and russian literature. 140830 what's it to you? who go blather from