ungrateful ovenbird In the car, on the way home from the Christmas pantomime, my daughter complained that her friends all have better lives than her. One friend has a bedroom AND a playroom AND a loft bed. One friend has a dedicated room for her stuffies. One friend has a giant bedroom AND a second house. Her friends’ parents let them buy as many Robux as they want. Her friends’ parents let them have unlimited screen time. Why does it take children so long to know what truly matters? Is my daughter’s fixation on material things a product of poor parenting, or is it something more innate? I can’t help but think I’ve gone wrong somewhere. My daughter lives in secure housing in a beautiful, safe location, and goes to a good school. She has lots of friends. She has piano lessons and dance lessons and swimming lessons and girl guides. All of her grandparents are still alive. She lives in a home full of musical instruments and books and art supplies. She has a dog. She woke up Christmas morning to piles of presents under the tree. She has enough. She has more than enough and yet, days after Christmas is over, she’s feeling the sense of deprivation that constant comparison creates. How am I supposed to disarm it? How do you teach your children to ask only if they have enough and not if they could have more? We didn’t have much when I was young, but I didn’t know it. I didn’t know we lived in the worst house on the block. I didn’t know my parents were secretly wondering if they had enough money for groceries. My daughter is growing up with plenty, but she doesn’t know it. Her want is a demon that I don’t know how to slay. I take her to the river and show her the otters and the kingfishers and the beavers. I show her the eagles with their nests on the nearby island and the last yellow leaves of the ginkgo tree. I give her paints and paper and songs and stories. I show her what love is but the want only gets bigger. I’m afraid that loss is the only route to the truth of what matters. And I wish there was another way. I really wish there was another way. 251229 what's it to you? who go blather from