i_swear_that_you_are_godless crOwl she came twice to have her face-painted, first with her hand-made yogi-bear t-shirt with her name, kaylyn, written underneath the well drawn cartoon. the second time she was wet from swimming. first time she was with her mom. the second time with her dad. her teenage brother,who makes pizza in some shoppe in cumberland, had me make him a metallica star on his shoulder. kaylyn said little, just gazed in that charmed reticence i've seen many times. children hear about clowns and they see them from a distance at the circus, but put one on front of them inches from their face and they go into a mild sense of bewildered reverie. but just as i was cleaning up my props, she came by with her mom and their shelty, named thunder. the mom asked me if i wanted to stop by their campsite for a drink and some macaroni and cheese. teedo was welcome, too. he's my chihuahua who wears a clown collar and sits in the lap of audience members when i do the show. kaylyn would look at me from time to time as i sat next to her at their picnic table. it must have felt like having dinner with a celebrity. biddy the clown is eating with me. that's what i love about this business. it's about making a loving impression on a child. something that sticks with them all their life. i shared small talk with this family from maryland. the dad is a train conductor thast hauls 1200 freight cars to baltimore. anything from cars to nuclear waste. he said he's scared of a terrorist attack. he told me a lot of people commit suicide by stepping on to the tracks, some even lay down. a lot more than you would think. trains carry 4,ooo gallons of diesel fuel and it takes 2 miles to bring a train to a stop from 55 mph. he said it didn't bother him if gutterpunks rode his empty cars. that was up to the railroad police. his laugh was spooky. the mom was southern sweet. said "durn." she was beautiful in an earthy, horse-woman kind of way. she seemed to have this weird attraction to me. like she thought i was a puppet. she waited on me like i was visiting royalty. lemonade?chicken?coconut cream pie? teedo sat on my lap and i fed him. bits of food fell to my crotch and the mom retrieved them. i was like, whoa, and she said she was sorry. and then i told them i had a party to go to and i shook each one of their hands as if the play we were performing had ended. we had said all the right words. except for kaylyn. something had been changed. she saw life through a different window than she was used to and it looked magical. 040530 ... peyton this is an absolutely beautiful story please continue 040531 ... infidel despite the fundamentalist title! 040531 ... two this made me smile if you publish a book(or if you already have?) i'll buy a copy and wait patiently in line for it to be signed. there's always such an honest, beautiful quality to everything you write...simply adore to read you. [and, that's a good song(the title..)] 040531 ... crOwl wow...thank you so much. 040601 ... silentbob i like the business of the mom and your crotch 040701 ... crOwl i know, sb, it was nuts. 040701 what's it to you? who go blather from