explicit kendera i am not an icqsluter . like whatthefuckever...... 010731 ... catbert I get used to the sound of the air conditioner rumbling to life on the hot nights, I dont wake up from it anymore but instead from the fantasies that bounce around my brain like the rubber balls in an old toy vending machine. This one, I see her in passing sometimes and she gives me this curious look like she actually wants to get to know shy boring me. Shock of shocks. I never would have fathomed anything of that nature. I dont get around much. People scare me. Social Phobic. Went on a new year's date and between the fireworks the crowd and the kiss the woman i went with planted on me, the anxiety nearly dropped me like a hot rock. i'm half out of breath now just remembering it half-dazed. I can smoke a little pot and be almost mellow enough not to be so neurotic. Sticking halfway out of my desk drawer mixed in amongst the hastily pulled ledger sheets and projections is a sealed envelope marked CONFIDENTIAL in big red letters against the yellow manila. A label has my name printed on the TO: section and nothing on the FROM section but i can smell a faint race of perfume on the paper and i know by the smell that its her. one of the expensive purfumes that you see ads for in vanity fair or one of the other glossies. A faraday cage use to shield electronic components ( a crunchy little silver plastic bag) i reach over to my drawer for my ground strap and pull the mats out from under my desk as i plug the wrist strap in, i open the packet and nearly fall over trying to conceal the little gift from the the engineers walking by. Naked polaroid, wow. let me repeat that...WOW. i haven't slept since monday 010801 what's it to you? who go blather from