dear_apathy eatingstars when everything seems pointless and you don't even know what you're living for or who you are or who you want to be or what will make you happy, you're me. wasting away in apathy, i have seen that i only care that i don't care and i end up pissed at everyone for caring about shit that doesn't matter. 061210 ... flux what better way to deal with sensory overload than shutting off entirely, dissociating? when the world is too big to fight, and there's nowhere left to run, what else to do than give up? just realize that every time you forgo the fight to improve the world, you're complicit in encouraging things to worsen. i'm not entirely sure what specific advice i can give yet, though. i'm still contemplating what action to take myself. but i bet there are almost certainly thing that you can do to improve your own situation, or that of your friends or family. if for whatever reason you feel incapable of affecting the "big issues" that you see all around you & on the news, work on the smaller things that you can see, where you have a better touch on the impact you can make. 061210 ... eatingstars i just finished reading a book in which stella is asked what she wants to be when she grows up. she replies "dead." that pretty much sums up how i think i'd like to respond. in reality, i'd say "nothing" because it's less direct and people wouldn't get quite as upset. so i guess, i'm not pissed off that people care about things, maybe im just jealous that i don't care about things. not just overall things, but any sort of thing. i keep hoping it's a phase that'll pass, but it's been a fucking long phase. 061210 what's it to you? who go blather from