curl_up_in_blather
tilt sometimes I just want to spend all day reading you. as if by reading your words it will comfort me. as if reading you somehow makes us friends.

I have fallen in love with words before now. some of you I have felt so deeply connected to. and yet not connected to at all.

i just want to curl up in blather and be soothed to sleep by the words lapping around me. 		090326
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jane (which is why i want to get_blather _tattooed, so that i may curl up in myself and rest easy) 090326
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unhinged reading me here does make me your friend; cause you know me better than most of my 'friends' do. 090326
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tilt red blather knows me better than anyone in the world knows me. i confess everything here. i have the beautiful luxury of privacy here on red. 090327
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tilt i really have fallen in love with people on blather. i bought one of you a necklace once but I chickened out of sending it and gave it to my girlfriend instead.

i often wonder (lately) if I'm actually still depressed but just hiding it from myself. i'm not as bad as I used to be, not at all. but I still get a heartache when I read some of you. a longing to lie in a field with my arm round you, in silence. I feel this understanding with you. I once had it with my girlfriend, but we've grown too used to each other. I feel like i can't tell her all these things. I want to confess that I watch porn. I want to confess that sometimes it's not nice porn. i just don't think you'd understand baby. we've_lost that_connection 		090717
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tilt and then I snap_out_of_it and shake my head and go and do something else for a while and I forget all about my dirty little secrets. and I hope that I can keep burying them until they go away, and I can feel like I deserve you again. it's been over ten years that I've been watching porn. you don't understand how deeply rooted it is in me. i will try. i just keep coming back to it. 090717
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tilt haven't watched it at all for at least two weeks. don't know how long this will last. but at least for tonight I won't.

It's just the way I think. You say you're going out tonight and won't be back till later and literally the first thing in my head before I can even catch it is "oh ok I can watch some porn then".

snap_out_of_it tilt! 		100105
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josie Thank You Blather, i'm grateful for your words. 110810
what's it to you?
who go 		blather
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