curl_up_in_blather tilt sometimes I just want to spend all day reading you. as if by reading your words it will comfort me. as if reading you somehow makes us friends. I have fallen in love with words before now. some of you I have felt so deeply connected to. and yet not connected to at all. i just want to curl up in blather and be soothed to sleep by the words lapping around me. 090326 ... jane (which is why i want to get_blather _tattooed, so that i may curl up in myself and rest easy) 090326 ... unhinged reading me here does make me your friend; cause you know me better than most of my 'friends' do. 090326 ... tilt red blather knows me better than anyone in the world knows me. i confess everything here. i have the beautiful luxury of privacy here on red. 090327 ... tilt i really have fallen in love with people on blather. i bought one of you a necklace once but I chickened out of sending it and gave it to my girlfriend instead. i often wonder (lately) if I'm actually still depressed but just hiding it from myself. i'm not as bad as I used to be, not at all. but I still get a heartache when I read some of you. a longing to lie in a field with my arm round you, in silence. I feel this understanding with you. I once had it with my girlfriend, but we've grown too used to each other. I feel like i can't tell her all these things. I want to confess that I watch porn. I want to confess that sometimes it's not nice porn. i just don't think you'd understand baby. we've_lost that_connection 090717 ... tilt and then I snap_out_of_it and shake my head and go and do something else for a while and I forget all about my dirty little secrets. and I hope that I can keep burying them until they go away, and I can feel like I deserve you again. it's been over ten years that I've been watching porn. you don't understand how deeply rooted it is in me. i will try. i just keep coming back to it. 090717 ... tilt haven't watched it at all for at least two weeks. don't know how long this will last. but at least for tonight I won't. It's just the way I think. You say you're going out tonight and won't be back till later and literally the first thing in my head before I can even catch it is "oh ok I can watch some porn then". snap_out_of_it tilt! 100105 ... josie Thank You Blather, i'm grateful for your words. 110810 what's it to you? who go blather from