an_incongruent_peace birdmad the sound of the brief rain last night reminded me of the one oddly pleasant detail of my experiences in sight and sound during my stay in the hospital last year as a result of my condition, the unburnt sugar in my body turning my blood into an acidic toxin compromised my immune system to the point where i had caught pneumonia as a consequence. The case of pneumonia decreased the level of oxygen in my blood to the point where the doctors opted to administer oxygen The cannula relaying the oxygen to me was fitted first to a water bottle to keep the pure oxygen from drying out my airways the sound, when the oxygen source was running through the bottle was like rain falling on a stream or a brook, and in spite of the stark white of the room, i dreamt that i was someplace green and well-shaded in the woods up above the plateau line, like maybe someplace outside of Flagstaff off the highway to the Grand Canyon The chill of the room was the cool of the forest canopy in my dream, a respite from the blazing heat outside the oval window which i half-remembered as a torment from the trip out of the house which had brought me there the day before Until i came to, i was almost totally oblivious to the death_watch going on in the room next door where a woman who was quite the revered matriarchal figure in her family was on the downward slope of her battle with a long illness I could hear the comings and goings the whole time, but during the dream, it barely registered in my consciousness as anything more than a faint twinge of sympathy though consciousness also made me keenly aware of a maddening thirst as well as my shared, unspoken grief for the family of the old woman in the next room the dream of rain on a brook was like a zen garden in the middle of a disaster area, an odd peace surrounded by all manner of chaos 031213 ... megan i feel most at home when i am listening to some good classic rock, wearing faded jeans and a baby doll t, and just a bit hungry burning incense talking to someone on the phone, really more just listening to them living on the other side of the line i find myself most at peace in late afternoon, than at night or in the morning i find my peace more when i am alone, when i have no plans, or i have some but much later on that night i need at least an hour a day completely to myself in order to be human in order to not go crazy entirely and i find it ever so sweet when someone randomly tells me they love me that's been happening a lot lately and i feel very safe and secure in their love 040818 what's it to you? who go blather from