traditions flux the best traditions are transient 140726 ... nr resisting changes 211224 ... nr become more important when certain parts of them inevitably change 211224 ... kerry i’ve somehow lost so many traditions. i guess i’ll have to start new ones. 211224 ... tender_square grandma kay would bring christmas crackers over each year, enough for everyone at the dinner my parents hosted, which fed upwards of 20 to 30 people. we’d yank the decorative cardboard tubes apart, and a strip inside would rip and produce a loud bang that would startle the dogs. the rules were that you had to wear the paper crown that came curled inside as we dined, no matter your age, and you had to share the riddles and jokes that were supplied with your prize to the rest of the table. for the past couple of years, mostly but not all due to covid, my parents tradition of hosting extended family has fallen apart. my older sisters are struggling with their addictions and we refuse to pretend that everything is fine because it’s a holiday. my mom has also had long-standing tension with her sister, rena, over how their mother is being cared for, but also because my aunt keeps getting involved with my candi and terri; rena thinks we’ve overblown their issues and she’s passive-aggressively trying to show us that we’re insensitive people by mothering them instead (i’m not exaggerating). this year, dinner was for seven of us: my parents, brea and her boyfriend jeremy, michael and i, and my dad’s friend leo, who was alone for the holidays and is fighting lung cancer. as i was getting the place settings out last night, i said, “shit, i should have bought christmas crackers for us.” it’d been three years since i’d last eaten with my family on christmas eve; some of that was due to being in the south to visit michael’s family, some of that was due to not wanting to see my sisters on christmas when i was uncomfortable, some of that was due to covid. i had forgotten all about the tradition. “i have crackers under the stairs,” mom said. “you do?!” “yeah, candi brought them over a couple of years ago and we never used them.” i checked in the storage area and sure enough, there were three unopened boxes of them, silver foiled with fabric bows. i brought up enough to place on each plate. we all wore our crowns and read our riddles and jokes aloud. jeremy asked, “what do snowmen eat for lunch?” and for some reason i shouted quickly, with such conviction, “MEATBALLS!!!” it was the laugh we all needed. 211225 what's it to you? who go blather from