through_tears Sonya I'm writing this now through tears. It's bad when you wear glasses and you're holding back tears because it's even harder to see what I write. I'm scared to let anyone touch me emotionally now. I am down right terrified. I have experienced the greatness of love and the happy little moments, but in exchange for that I sacrificed my inner self. I put up with behavior that I swore I would never put up with. I allowed myself to be hurt and taken for granted in the worst of ways... and now I feel so horribly empty. Perhaps life is better spent alone in silent reverie. Who needs a companion...a "soul mate" anyway? I'm just lying to myself now. "It's all a big beautiful lie." Some of the best music I listen to is break up music. The songs written by the lovelorn and the heartbroken and the miserable souls are some of the greatest songs in existence. I just want some band-aid to fix everything and make everything okay. There is no such band-aid. There is only the slow, painful, passage of time and the hope that I either forget or completely write everything off as a fluke. I've always loved variety and choices. For once in my life I hate what's offered on the menu. Just give me the damn check already, please. 050721 ... megan don't you even notice when it hurts me 050722 what's it to you? who go blather from