punk_as_fuck tender square it was a kid’s helmet, really, but surprisingly fit my head. i liked it because it was black and had dry-erase markers, an unexpected bonus. the package came with stencils, a skull and crossbones was one of the designs, and i held it up against the curves and filled the spaces with silver pen. on the back of the helmet, i wrote in angled letters, “punk rock is freedom —kurt cobain.” i donned it as i biked to work on my cruiser, along with my jean jacket that had a cutout from a kids in the hall tee i had sewn on the back and decorated with safety pins. i was wearing my nose ring again; dyed my hair brassy blonde. and i was showing up to work late at the office because i didn’t really give a shit anymore. i couldn’t understand why michael thought this look was hilarious, or why my boss dawn laughed every time i said goodnight to her before heading out the door. i’m one tough cookie, aren’t i? 210920 ... kerry on my father's side of our family tree there are nine german-hungarian women named apollonia. her name is invoked against toothaches. it also means perdition and destruction. 210920 ... tender_square “oh, i saw that lydia lunch is going to be doing some kind of performance thing in march.” “who’s lydia lunch?” “she’s this like 70’s era nyc punk. i saw her play years ago at mocad with her band. she’s a poet, she’s a musician, she’s an artist—she does it all.” “man, punk is dead. everything is co-opted now.” “actually, i did a project back in college that argued punk isn’t dead, it just keeps getting reinvented.” “and that may have still been true back then, what, seventeen years ago? not anymore.” “you know, there were four of us that did that project and i made us all t-shirts where each one of us had a word and when we stood together it spelled a sentence and the sentence was ‘punk is not dead.’ then, when we were finished, we turned around and the back of shirts spelled out ‘how about an a?’” “that’s not punk! asking for an ‘a’ is the least punk thing ever. punk would’ve been not doing the project.” “or, punk would have been taking a massive shit and wiping my ass with my paper when i handed it in?” “yeah! see, now you’re getting all gg allin with it!” 220208 what's it to you? who go blather from