life_partner unhinged several months ago i was having an actual auditory telephone conversation with my mother rather than texting. we were talking about my romantic life or lack there of; my mother seems to be deeply concerned about my lack of dating, my lack of a significant other. (i am beginning to doubt my ability to maintain a significant relationship). but then she said something that burrowed into my mind and has made a nest there ever since 'maybe robert is your life partner'. 'but that's not the same, not enough' i whined. my mom sighed 'i know, but maybe he is the life partner you are meant to have.' i don't write about robert much here on blather. maybe i never have, especially in a direct way. i met him in the fall of 1999 because we both went to the same university together to study violin. he has been one of my best friends ever since. he is gay so there has never been any sexual tension between us. as i start to realize the depth of the traumas i've endured in the sex department, maybe it is best for me to have robert in my life. we moved to seattle together and have been roommates ever since. because of skyrocketing rents, we are talking about buying a condo together. we walk around the apartment in our underwear. we commiserate over the asshole men we date together. we watch hulu and netflix together, sometimes with accompanying pizza. we share groceries. we share pretty much everything except for our beds. maybe he is not the man i dreamed of when i was a young girl, but he is the man the universe has given me. i love him like my brother, but maybe also more or differently than i love my brother because we got to choose each other in a way that siblings don't. especially in the past four years of living together, we have come face to face with both of our faults and foibles, but yet we never talk about not living together. i have complete faith in him as my best friend. i worry that he will get married before me and our current relationship arrangement will get severed, but i never worry that we will drift apart. time has taught me that just is not true. for sixteen years now, we have shared almost everything. and the only thing that we have not shared is something that usually leads me to despise the men i share it with. so maybe, as much as my adolescent self hates to admit it, my mother was right. maybe he is the life partner i am meant to have. my heart mourns my cold bed. i cook my gay husband dinner when he comes home from work. i wash his dirty dishes. i let him do his own laundry. he talks about women's equality with a passion i have never heard from anything with a penis. we email each other links to progressive political articles. we irritate each other. we laugh together. maybe he is not the man i dreamed of, but he is the man the universe has given me and i love him more everyday. 151006 ... flowerock This is beautiful. 151007 ... nr interesting. i've often considered the idea of a soulmate who's not a lover. 151007 what's it to you? who go blather from